I am coming in January/February 

I fly in around the 30^th January and plan to stay

until around the 19^th February - I am excited to be in my second home again.

The tickets including a time in Germany where I am able to spend Christmas

with my parents again after 5 years costs me around 1900 $.

My reserve fund would need to be refilled with this money.

I ask you humbly to consider donating to the Long term Missions account for South Africa

at East Hill to fill it up again.

ANY Donation would bless and help me go

back on the mission field in Cape Town

where God called me to be.

Any questions? kerstin.berthold77@gmail.com

Thank you in advance for praying about it!

I appreciate it lots 

Continuation

2 Saturdays ago, I went to Heartfelt. That was a women's meeting and over 500 women came to hear about the main topic of the morning: Friendship. I am glad that my friend invited me to come since this topic does not only interest but also bother me in certain ways.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I have experienced some rejection in that area as well as inadequacy. A big thing that I have learned over the years is to PACE myself in friendships. I can be pretty intense and overbearing which can poison a friendship from one side. I have been on both sides: I have poisend AND I was the one being poisened. NO FUN! NO GOOD! SOOOOOO distructive for a friendship.
My expectations just seem to be too high. Is there anyone who can relate remotely? I want to learn and become a better friend and I know every time God brings this up again, He is busy working in me. Here I am, Lord, use me, change me, make me.
During the course of time, I also learned to ask God if He could show me my friend's heart and its intention. That has helped a lot to love that friend the way she or he is.

" Lord please help me not to get stuck in this. Help me to get love like you love !"  

FRIENJECTURY: Friendship - Rejection - insecurity

I decided to call my post: FrienJectUry.

It has always been something that God has challenged me with. My heart is beating for friendship...looking for a good frienship and I am always challenged by God to be a better friend.

There are times I let God break me and my pride and then I see how far away I am from the friend I want to be to others. The issue of friendship is an area to grow continuously for me. It is an area where I can experience a lot of pain as I grow...

Because of insecurity and times of rejection my journey in the area of frienship has been a rocky one.It frustrates me when I see my insecurities. I want to be strong all the time. I know that that is not the reality and I am learning again and again, afresh and afresh how to be vulnerable and how to see myself in a weaker stage.

Feeling insecure is painful if I let myself feel it. I then see my shortcomings and am unable to receive God's grace for me. That in itself is frustrating. In this state, I start to compare myself with others and get easily jealous. That in turn hurts even more. Consequently, all this functions as an obstacle in my relationship with the Lord and in the race that God has me in...in my ministry.

Rejection is a powerful thing. I experienced times of rejection in friendships in my past. The wound of rejection can be such a deep one. It can start the process of feeling insecure. And this is how the circle closes:

Friendship- Rejection-Insecurity-Frienschip

FrienJectUry

"Dear Jesus, please help me and have mercy on me. I need your Grace, I need to receive your Grace. Lord, would you heal and then fill my wounds, would you help me not to feel insecure in any way? I don't have any reason to do so. Help me to live by your truth, YOUR reality and let me be a good friend to others, a friend that gives without agenda.

your Friend Kerstin"

-to be continued- 

sick for 10 days now!!!

Just an update. I have been sick for 10 days now - it is a tummy bug without throwing up (thank you Jesus). I have lost lots of fluids and have been feeling weak. I sweat easily. So I have been in bed or on the coach. It is getting better since yesterday but in baby baby baby steps. I might need to take antibiotics if it does not get better better soon. However I do dread anitbiotics because I know what impact it has on my system normally (it totally drags all energy out of me that I have left...so I don't wat to take them...only as a last resort).

My constant companion has been Romeo, giver of such love. I don't take it for granted and am tahnkful for that little snuggle ball

I rely on God and practice to TRUST HIM :)

A Tree of Righteousness – a Planting of the Lord

2 weeks ago, a lady died in our church. I was part of a team that went and had ministered to her previously because her husband had just died 3 weeks prior. She had told her daughter what she wanted me to have. I was honoured and humbled and too touched for words. How? I had only known her for 4 months? Among the things she wanted me to have was a tree.. like an ornament. Some of the street sellers here make them. They look really beautiful and I have been looking at them every once in a while.
Now I own one. It makes me thing of that lady that is with Jesus now. Here is a picture of it.

And this is what I am thinking when I look at :

I want to be a tree of righteousness, a planting of the Lord. I want to have strong roots and I want to bear good fruit . I want to be consistent and of strength that is not my own. As the tree takes the strength from the water in the ground, I want to take my strength from God and God alone.

I want to be known as a tree of righteousness, a planting of the Lord.

That is my prayer and that is what I think of when I my eyes rest on this tree that someone I barely knew gave to me before she died. WOW!

" Today is a GOOD day "

I don't know how to name this blogpost. Today is a good day.....yes ...this is how I should start this post. Today is a good day. I wonder why because the last 8 days have not been good days per se.
The last days have been filled with confusion, comdemnation, wasting of time, feeling overwhelmed and overly tired, with little focus and too many thoughts in my heaon my mind.
Whenever something like this happens, I immediately suspect one thing: a depressive phase coming up. I blogged about the bipolar condition I have been suffering from a few blog posts back.
I want to learn and heal. I know that God is sovereign and HE has healed me already in so many ways. His healing process often is gradually.
So there I was now last week: it was hard to focus even with little tasks. The thoughts in my mind were of a comdemning nature and even praying was hard. I didn't like it. I realised I need to go for a blood test again to see if my medication is right. But all in all, I surrendered to God, knowing that HE KNOWS, running to HIM into HIS arms.

Then comes today......and today is so different. I wake up early and have no problem getting up. I have a good time in God's word and I do enjoy my work. What a difference from yesterday to today. I have observed HIS favor over me in those last days....in little detailed things and it made me so so thankful, so so grateful. I know that when I am weak HE IS STRONG, HE is at work and HE KNOWS.
I will still have my blood checked this week.
And I take refuge in HIM who is able even when I am so not able.

Pictures like this let me feel at peace......

Romeo, oh Romeo

"O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet."

This is what Juliet speaks as she is on the balcony at night of the ball in the Capulet house in Act 1 of William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
I think this will be the only time I mention the famous play. Why do I do so in the first place?
Because I found a name for the cat that comes to visit me often. He is a neighbor's cat.
As he started to visit me, I thought he is a girl (oh my) and I called him Princess. I must have given him an identity crisis - lol- but then I realised my mistake. The first words that came into my mind were: Lill' Romeo. That's how I named him since I did not know his real name.  A week ago, I found out who is the acatual owner. SO I went and introduced myself. I asked what his real name is.
I was stunned, awestruck, totally blown away when the owner said: His name is Romeo!!!!!!!!!
WHAAAAAAAT? That is so so cool! It is like he told me his real name and I heard him.ha!

My friends who visit  me also got aquainted with Lill Romeo. He is so gentle and really sweet. He loves to cuddle and to relax and chill. I don't mind having him around and he does make me laugh often
So this is my Romeo, sweet Romeo!

My first Dance Competition: The Valentines Matchdance

The theme was Valentines Day. That meant outfits in the colours red, black, white and pink. The dances that we could compete in were: Waltz, Vienna Waltz, Bolero, Tango, Box Rumba, International Rumba and Western Swing.

I chose Tango, Box Rumba and the Western Swing. I could not believe that I actually went for it with the few one on one dance lessons that I have.

My goal: have fun and dance for Jesus – enjoy and not get caught up in the competition-side of things.

It was on a Saturday (18^th of Feb) at 9:30am local time that my first competition started. I was so blessed to have support with me. Two of my friends had come to cheer me on: Jane and Edna. The are both dear to me. I had led them through the Genesis process 2 years ago. Jane even brought her camera with and became the unofficial personal photographer of mine. Grin! I had to wait for my turn and I got more nervous by the minute. Finally, I had to dance the Western Swing as my first dance – its a nice sensual dance that respects personal space. As I danced, I could feel my legs were like pudding. My second dance was the Box-Rumba and I was nervous before that one. I had just learned some arm styling and the coordination was not that easy. As we go on the floor, my ears hear a beautiful song and the melody put me at peace immediately. It was Hungry Eyes form the movie Dirty Dancing. I knew that that was Jesus. I said thank you and enjoyed this dance without thinking too much of doing anything wrong. That was my icebreaker and the Tango was a great time.

I could have done things better but that is always a fact.

My dance teacher was nice and encouraging. I did not place at all which made me a bit sad for a moment until I realized that I danced against 5 other couples, who had been dancing on that level (level 3) much longer that I have.

I loved the vibe and our studio was just so cool: cheering for everyone and creating a great atmosphere, caring for each other. I am thankful - what a great day! Thank you to Jane and Edna who made this so so so special! Thank you to Marelise and Karen for being my friends there and supporting me and encouraging me!

V for Jesus: My valentines Day 2012

Valentines Day

V for Jesus ;)

I have wanted to write a blog post for a while but life has changed a lot and it is even harder to find time.

Let me tell you about a great valentines day a week ago. It started off with a lovely pilates session. After that I got my car Snowflake ready for a road trip. During Pilates I had the thought to either go to Franshoek (a town 1 ½ hours away with strong French and Durch roots and beautiful scenery and rich history) or to Hout Bay to go see the World of Birds. I felt, Jesus and I should drive out to Franshoek. I got excited because I had never gone there by myself. It was already awesome to find the palce on my new aquired road map. Then on the road, I started chatting to Jesus and more and more as I drive out the out this area...I was amazed at the beauty that awaited me. I drove out to the Winelands and past beautiful estates. As I arrived in Franshoek, I found a really sweet litte street cafe where I had a garden salad and an orange juice. I heard a bird singing and as I turned around, it was the owner's bird. He was totally yellow with a red beac and his name was Nana. I had him climb my shoulder and giving me kisses. So I got kisses from a bird on Valentines Day - hehe GREAT!

Later I realized, I really had to come to Franshoek, but the Lord had honored my wish to see birds anyway! How great is that. It was an awesome day of just wondering around and talking to Jesus.

Finally! 12 years

Oh boy! I have nor written anything for qutie some time. Please forgive me. Whenever I got a great idea, I would start formulating phrases in my head and then I would not have the time to blog.

Happy New Year to you all! I can still say it, it is January..at least for another 11 days.

Today I want to blog on my 12 year journey as a born again Christian. I have somthing else to blog on a bit later maybe next week as my time allows it.

12 years in 2012

Yes, I invited Jesus into my heart in January 2000. I was living a total different life. I was engaged to be married. I had just looked at some bridal dresses and I was studzing for a few months in the French part of Switzerland. I can only stand in awe when I look back. My decision changed my life, turned it around: not for the worse but for the better. I started my walk, my exciting journey with an invisible God. Absolutely cool.

The number 12 speaks of God's order as my Pastor told me yesterday! I like that. 12 years full of memories. 12 years in which Jesus has really changed me a lot, healed my heart a lot and helped me to see who I am!

I 've had a change from the inside out! Watch the difference that a pciture can tell you already:

So here is the evidence

Some ecclectic memories from these 12 years:

*One night I was crying my heart out. I really needed healing and felt so desolate - that is  when I started to experience the peace of GOD

*0n the 23rd of June 2003 I got baptized out of sheer obediance. I had been baptized (sprinkled) as a baby and had accepted it when I became a Christian but God had been talking to me about baptism and after 3 years I gave in!

*God told me that my parents will be Christians during  my stay there in 2009 and it happened, so so amazing to see something beeing fullfilled I had been on my knees since 2000!

*One evening when I asked God why I bumped into Pastor Xavier all the time (I stayed in Gresham Oregon USA that time), God actually told me that He had put the continent Africa on my heart. I actually heard HIS voice resounding in my heart and it dropped me to my knees  and feet.

There is so much more but that just popped into my head out of all the awesome times and revelations

I am thankful for verse 24!

I got back into reading more in my Bible and I am so thankful for that. A week or two ago I posted that I was struggling with getting into the word. What I rediscovered since then is amazing. I went back to reading one proverb a day corresponding with the date. Today is the 15th, so I read Proverb 15.
Everday I ask the Holy Spirit to open up HIS Scriptures for me. And every day He showes me treasures: big or small...it does not matter but treasures nonetheless!

Today I am so glad about verse 24:

Proverbs 15:24

New International Version (NIV)

²⁴ The path of life leads upward for the prudent
to keep them from going down to the realm of the dead.

I need that verse and I udnerstand why it is so importnat to always look ahead and to march on, to walk higher, to let myself get challenged again because the more I rest I dont want to get up and walk more. The more I sit down, I start to think about old things...things I cannot change and things that distract me. With Distraction comes Compromise and after comproise I am already going down to the realm of the dead. One thing leads to another, one thougth leads to another and then .......

So that is why it is so important to stay of the path that leads upward. It is the path that leads to life. It is a continuous challenge and growth, it is a journey

Thank you Jesus for verse 24 today! 

About the weeds...

Last Monday  morning, I had the opportunity to minister to 35 older people from the old age home that I used to go to with Pastor Xavier. Some of you might remember this. I used to accompany Pastor Xavier every  month to  that old age home. It stopped when I had more responsabilities with leading Genesis groups. Pastor Xavier wanted me to have Monday off.

Every once in a while when he is unable to go to the home to minister, he asks me to. That makes me happy. I love challenges to minister and preach.

This time, I had 2 days to prepare. As I sad, I like challenges.

God and I had chatted about the weeds in my heart and what weeds there are in general all the time while I was working. This is what  I ministered to the older people at Vue Du Cap on the following Monday:

A weed is a plant in an undiseried place - it is a nuisance, a useless plant, a destructive thing. The King James Version of the Bible calles this hemlock in the Old Testament (Hosea, Zephaniah) and tare in the New Testament (Matthew 13)

We might all have had times to spend in a garden...may it be our own or someone else's. We water the garden, we prune the plants and we pull out the weeds.

Let's look at our heart as a garden and Jesus as our gardener. Now I want to go with you to the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 13 verses 24 to 30. It is where Jesus talks about the parable of the weeds.

The Parable of the Weeds

²⁴ Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. ²⁵ But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. ²⁶ When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.

²⁷ “The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’

²⁸ “‘An enemy did this,’ he replied.

“The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’

²⁹ “‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them. ³⁰ Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’

6 Truths about a WEED:

- they are persistent

- the are always growing

- take it out at the root

- be vigilant because a weed grows fast

- don't take out the weed to early -you must know what is the weed and what is the good plant

(there is more and you can add on to that!!!)

The Parable of the Weeds Explained

³⁶ Then he left the crowd and went into the house. His disciples came to him and said, “Explain to us the parable of the weeds in the field.”

³⁷ He answered, “The one who sowed the good seed is the Son of Man. ³⁸ The field is the world, and the good seed stands for the people of the kingdom. The weeds are the people of the evil one, ³⁹ and the enemy who sows them is the devil. The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels.

⁴⁰ “As the weeds are pulled up and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of the age. ⁴¹ The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. ⁴² They will throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. ⁴³ Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Whoever has ears, let them hear

I love that the disciples didn't get the fool picture of the parable in the first place. Well, most of them were fishermen. They knew their way around fishing and all the things about fishing....but farming  and weeds??? No wonder that they asked Jesus more about this parable.

Once, I worked in our church garden. Our Pastor had asked me to take out the big weeds and boy were they big. However, there was this one weed that I took out that also had some blosssoms. I was convinced it was a weed only to feel bad when the Pastor told me that I just had successfully outrooted a plant. Oh boy! But it looked sooo much like a weed.

When weeds grow slowly beside a plant, there is a tiem when itis hard to distinguish between the good and the bad.

Now transfer that into our lives:  the longer I walk in sin, the longer I let the weed of sin/temptation ect grow in the garden of my heart, the harder it is to distinguish what is good and what it bad.

Now go to your heart garden....look around. The gardener is always there...he is taking good care of it but he also needs your permission to pull out the weeds. In fact, it is you who needs to pull out the weeds, the gardener only helps.

How does yoru garden look like? Are there flowers? and what kind? what colors?

I always find a place where there is weeds growing...but I also see different patches of different flowers. One patch is full with the most beautiful sunflowers!!!

I want my gardener Jesus take care of my garden well and when he points out some weeds...I want to pull them out together with him.

In terms of FAITH I want to be like a weed: always persistent, always growing :)