It needs to be a party of LIFE - it is good to know where I am going

Ok this might be a weird post for some but somehow I thought about it the other night. It came to me and I liked it. Although I do not really think about it much. I had to think about how I would want my funeral or memorial service to be whenever God would call me home. First of all, I don't believe in cemeteries and graves. When I go, I will be with Jesus and the body I leave here will be dust and nothing more. It would cost so much to uphold a grave, to pay for the place and all. So I would want to be burned and my ashes to buried at a random beautiful place on a pasture under a tree, a willow maybe. Then I would want a time for friends and family to come together, not like a memorial service, not like a service at all, more like a party, a party of life. Everyone would get a balloon at the entrance, a colored balloon. A friend, a leader or pastor or family friend would share my heart in simple words:

"Kerstin is sorry to leave you but she is finally HOME, she wants to share her joy with you she also wanted you all to come to be there for each other, to hold each other up and pray for each other, to form new friendships right here right now. This is a time and place for something new to be born - a place where we say good-by but also where we welcome something and someone new!"

I know some of my favorite songs will be sung and joy will come through the tears of sorrow. I love life and I love Jesus, I love people and I want to share this joy even beyond the day that my DADDY will take me :)

May I introduce?

Working through things in life, I have come to know this specific person quite well. Most of the people would not see her as a person, but rather a thing, a system. I have come to understand that she actually is a person and she changes her gender when in a man. What am I talking about? WHo am I talking about? Let me introduce you to Mrs. L - Mrs. L is as old as I am. She has a specific mission in my life, a task so to speak. She is my bodyguard. She is there so I won't feel pain or fear. She helps me to survive. L stands for Limbic System. I blogged on it earlier. I have come to understand that she is a person, a person who wants to intervene so much :) Let me explain. When a situation does not feel "safe", she picks it up immediately and then she wants to jump to my rescue. When I was little and not able to resolve issues, I needed her to survive, to be ditracted from pain and fears. However, now that I am an adult, I don't need her like that anymore. I have had this converstation with her where I tell her that I don't need her in the same capacity anymore over and over again but she does not seem to listen. In a male person, she might be called Mr. L and Mr. L has the same task in life. Mrs. L is the one that acts up and I am learning how to coexist with her, how to calm her down, how to make her some herbal tea and let her relax in a nice hammock so I can deal with pain and fears in my life to actually resolve them. This is a slightly different look at the limbic system and how it stands in the way of true healing. - hope you had fun :) I am making some herbal tea now to give to Mrs. L and then I go on with my day. haha

More on dancing

I love dancing and I know that God is redeeming something in me while I dance. That is so special to know. As I said in my earlier post, dancing is more spiritual than we think. Dancing is part of God's healing plan for our lives.I am reading a book on dancing right now..and I go dancing twice every week. I am blessed and I learn a lot. In dancing a man becomes a man and a woman becomes a woman. Let me unpack that again. When the man starts to learn how to dance, he also learns hoe to lead and be assertive, how to be strong and confident. This is an important part a man needs to learn in life to be the man God created him to be. When a woman learns how to dance, she learns how to follow the man's lead, how to trust the one who holds her and guides her. She learns how to be confident and how to shine. This is part of what God has initially put into the sould of a woman. Isn't that beautiful?