Yes, only 1 day until I will be flying back to Frankfurt to spend 5 weeks with my parents. I am so so excited. 
----one day, one day, one day :)
This last 2 days I have been extremely blessed. I am still processing the goodness that comes from God through people.

I am very grateful and full of thanksgiving


and I am preparing my body for a shock of temperature

new post

I know, this title is not very creative. May this have to do with the hour of me writing it? It is 3pm and my mind is a bit fried after meetings and work. I am about to go into my 5th genesis session with a woman and I am so eager to see what the Holy Spirit is doing next.
I have been pondering about what I can blog on and there is a series I want to start next week: Memorable Moments. I will pick moments that I experienced here in my life...right now I think it will be from the last  few years here in South Africa. "Should be fun!"
Do you want to join me and write about your memorable moments? Think about it.
Last night, I watched the Chronicles of Narnia (The lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe) again after a ling time. Oh how I love this movie. I never read teh books by C.S. Lewis though. I just loooove Aslan. They picked out such a beautiful tender male voice for him. As I watched, I actually made mental notes of teh scenes and a teaching that could go with it.
-like the enticement of Edmund by the evil white witch
-or when beaver tells the kids about the prophecy
oh there are so many great scenes it...such golden nuggets.

My favorite scene is when Aslan raises from death and he surprises Lucy and Susan, so so awesome. What is your favorite scene?

Multiplication

Multiplication is happening. I have had this on my heart for 3 years and it is so cool to see the beginning of it. Yesterday evening, my friend that I took through Genesis last year, started  her own Genesis group. I met with her last week to prepare her for the facilitation. She is ready and so eager.

Multiplication is happening.

2 thoughts: gold and trust

Hi everyone...or Hi to the one who actually still reads or follows my blog. I have not been really faithful to writing this year. I apologize. Today, I realized that I just have to MAKE the time and I will try to blog again for frequently. It will be a lot about impressions of my work here in South Africa, about thoughts and feelings and also about my walk with Jesus. Just as it has been.

Today I want to share 2 thoughts with you.

1) The first one takes me back to March of this year. I wrote in my journal that Jesus gave me a picture that morning. And here goes the picture..or scene for a lack of a better word:

I was sitting with Jesus and I had a pretty heavy heart. Jesus said to me: take your burdens and your fears and give them to me. Well, that was not a new concept to me and I gave Him my burdens and my fears. As I watched Him take them, they actually turn into golden balls in His hands and then I was so overwhelmed looking at HIS facial expressions. He seemed so careful with my burdens and fears. Unbelievable. Then Jesus said: My love, don't you know that even your fears and burdens are PRECIOUS to me? I have been meditating on that statement from my Lord this week. It is truly overwhelming but I am so thankful. From time to time, fears can overwhelm me and my heart is very heavy. I am so glad He reminded me this week of HIS love, HIS mercy and HIS favour over me. IN CHRIST I am the righteousness of God!

I did not want to make this blog post about me and yet I love to share what God is telling and how that actually changes something in my heart.

I have been on the mission field for 4 ½ years. This is my life and there are so so so many wonderful things about it. I hope I make a change in people's lives in touching them with Christ's love. And so often I battle with myself.

2. The second thought comes from my first year here in Cape Town. Jesus explained TRUST to me. See I love to make an acronym out of a word. So Jesus gave me the content to the word T.R.U.S.T. And here it goes: T. stands for TAKING A STEP back, R. stands for RESTING IN HIS PEACE, U. stands for UNDERSTANDING GOD'S POSITION AND MINE IN THIS, S. stands for STAYING AND MEDITATING ON THIS THOUGHT, and the final T. stands for TOTAL SURRENDER. Trust is a big issue and it comes back into my life again and again. Oh how little I trust God!

I am so glad that I can come to God with my burdens and fears...and I can come to HIM with my doubts. The battle is half won when I have identified what's wrong.

Dear friends, supporters and interrested,

I have been praying for a while about this trip and I am happy to say that I have the tickets for the trip. I will spend a special and significant amount of time with my parents over Christmas, New years & the whole of January (5 weeks).

The goal in Germany: to love on my parents, to care for my parents and also to see what God wants me to do to disciple them. That last point was part of God's challenge to me. My mom already asked me to read the Bible with her. I see that as a big part of my trip. It will be my mom's 60^th birthday on December 31^st. What a wonderful opportunity to be together!!!!! Likewise, I'll try to have some efficient time at my German Foursquare Church in Frankfurt.
Goal for Gresham (3 weeks): I was invited to be one of the bridesmaids for my friend Carina Austin. Then, I need to reconnect with donors. An important part of this trip needs to be some relaxing and peaceful time. I am praying about one more thing: I've been wanting to make usage of the Brainwave Optimization. This is Brain Mapping and Brain Training done at the Northwest Renewal Center in Gresham (www.nwrenewalcenter.com). It would be such a blessing to be able to do at least 5 sessions (incl.the training and mapping 1100 $). I have been suffering from bi-polar for 12 years and I came to understand that this brainwave program could be used by God in my healing process in a tremendous way. I would so love to be able to do this. I put this in God's hands.

For these next months, I don't dance and I don't go to the gym. I actually quit the gym to use the money for part of this trip. Dancing also contributed to costs. Thus I let it go for a few months until I come back.

Please give me feedback, let me know if you will be there at the time. I will have some gatherings planned and will tell you more as the time draws closer.

Be blessed today and may HE who put the stars in place bless you, set you free and guide you into all truth!

Kerstin, your Long Term Missionary in Cape Town/South Africa

Please pray and see if God puts it on your heart to support me especially for this trip.

The money needed for this trip has impacted my reserve fund. I do need to refill it with at least $ 1900. I already fundraised $ 250.

Every dollar would help me to come back to Gresham and bring stories, videos and pictures, to be with my parents over Christmas and my mom's 60^th birthday and it would help me to minister to my parents.

Let me know what you think!

Make checks out to East Hill Church, PO Box 650, Gresham OR 97030

memo line: Long Term Missions South Africa

Brainwave Optimization at NRC - wish/do

http://www.nwrenewalcenter.com/

As I am going over my list of things to do when I will be with my parents and when I will be in Gresham/Oregon again, there is one thing that is more on my wish list than on my to do list.
I have been wanting to do this for quite some time now.

When I came to Gresham in 2009, I heard the first time about the Brainwave Optimization. Through brain mapping and brain training, the brain can be positivly influenced and even behavioral structures can be altered. Back then I was too late to actually do it since you need to book in advance and I only had a small amount of time left to spend. When I came  back last year, I got more inforrmation on this. I am very interested since I have been struggling with bi-polar for over 12 years.
Brainwave Optimization is designed to balance brainwave frequencies through an advanced neurofeedback process. Dr. Ted Roberts, cofounder of Northwest Renewal Centre, writes about his personal experiences with taking these sessions: http://www.nwrenewalcenter.com/drted.htm


So now I know about it and it would be so great to be able to do it when I am going this time for 3 to Gresham for 3 weeks this coming Februray 2013.
I am praying about it and  let's see what what God has in store. I know that the sessions and the mapping cost money. However, I know that this money would be well invested.

1 mouth and 2 ears!!

In the book of James it says to be slow to anger and quick to listen. That means, slow to react and say something in anger than to shut my mouth and listen.

A wise man that I don't know the name of once said: "There is a reason why we have 1 mouth and 2 ears and 2 eyes". This means: rather lsiten and watch/observe more than speak.

I thought about this piece of advice this morning as I was praying over the day. It is true. I DO have 2 ears but do I actually use them as much as I use my mouth? I am thinking about my every day situations: at home with the neighbors - at the office with coworkers - then with friends.
It is a resfreshing thought, a refreshing piece of advice.

Dear Lord, help me today to speak less and listen more!


I have not blogged in quite a while. There have been so many times, where I had something on my mind to blog about but then I did not have the time nor the inspiration to blog.
I am now in the posession of my tickets and I started to plan. There are several things that are on my to do list. Let me tell you more about that in my next post. xoxo

I am coming in January/February 

I fly in around the 30^th January and plan to stay

until around the 19^th February - I am excited to be in my second home again.

The tickets including a time in Germany where I am able to spend Christmas

with my parents again after 5 years costs me around 1900 $.

My reserve fund would need to be refilled with this money.

I ask you humbly to consider donating to the Long term Missions account for South Africa

at East Hill to fill it up again.

ANY Donation would bless and help me go

back on the mission field in Cape Town

where God called me to be.

Any questions? kerstin.berthold77@gmail.com

Thank you in advance for praying about it!

I appreciate it lots 

Continuation

2 Saturdays ago, I went to Heartfelt. That was a women's meeting and over 500 women came to hear about the main topic of the morning: Friendship. I am glad that my friend invited me to come since this topic does not only interest but also bother me in certain ways.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I have experienced some rejection in that area as well as inadequacy. A big thing that I have learned over the years is to PACE myself in friendships. I can be pretty intense and overbearing which can poison a friendship from one side. I have been on both sides: I have poisend AND I was the one being poisened. NO FUN! NO GOOD! SOOOOOO distructive for a friendship.
My expectations just seem to be too high. Is there anyone who can relate remotely? I want to learn and become a better friend and I know every time God brings this up again, He is busy working in me. Here I am, Lord, use me, change me, make me.
During the course of time, I also learned to ask God if He could show me my friend's heart and its intention. That has helped a lot to love that friend the way she or he is.

" Lord please help me not to get stuck in this. Help me to get love like you love !"  

FRIENJECTURY: Friendship - Rejection - insecurity

I decided to call my post: FrienJectUry.

It has always been something that God has challenged me with. My heart is beating for friendship...looking for a good frienship and I am always challenged by God to be a better friend.

There are times I let God break me and my pride and then I see how far away I am from the friend I want to be to others. The issue of friendship is an area to grow continuously for me. It is an area where I can experience a lot of pain as I grow...

Because of insecurity and times of rejection my journey in the area of frienship has been a rocky one.It frustrates me when I see my insecurities. I want to be strong all the time. I know that that is not the reality and I am learning again and again, afresh and afresh how to be vulnerable and how to see myself in a weaker stage.

Feeling insecure is painful if I let myself feel it. I then see my shortcomings and am unable to receive God's grace for me. That in itself is frustrating. In this state, I start to compare myself with others and get easily jealous. That in turn hurts even more. Consequently, all this functions as an obstacle in my relationship with the Lord and in the race that God has me in...in my ministry.

Rejection is a powerful thing. I experienced times of rejection in friendships in my past. The wound of rejection can be such a deep one. It can start the process of feeling insecure. And this is how the circle closes:

Friendship- Rejection-Insecurity-Frienschip

FrienJectUry

"Dear Jesus, please help me and have mercy on me. I need your Grace, I need to receive your Grace. Lord, would you heal and then fill my wounds, would you help me not to feel insecure in any way? I don't have any reason to do so. Help me to live by your truth, YOUR reality and let me be a good friend to others, a friend that gives without agenda.

your Friend Kerstin"

-to be continued- 

sick for 10 days now!!!

Just an update. I have been sick for 10 days now - it is a tummy bug without throwing up (thank you Jesus). I have lost lots of fluids and have been feeling weak. I sweat easily. So I have been in bed or on the coach. It is getting better since yesterday but in baby baby baby steps. I might need to take antibiotics if it does not get better better soon. However I do dread anitbiotics because I know what impact it has on my system normally (it totally drags all energy out of me that I have left...so I don't wat to take them...only as a last resort).

My constant companion has been Romeo, giver of such love. I don't take it for granted and am tahnkful for that little snuggle ball

I rely on God and practice to TRUST HIM :)

A Tree of Righteousness – a Planting of the Lord

2 weeks ago, a lady died in our church. I was part of a team that went and had ministered to her previously because her husband had just died 3 weeks prior. She had told her daughter what she wanted me to have. I was honoured and humbled and too touched for words. How? I had only known her for 4 months? Among the things she wanted me to have was a tree.. like an ornament. Some of the street sellers here make them. They look really beautiful and I have been looking at them every once in a while.
Now I own one. It makes me thing of that lady that is with Jesus now. Here is a picture of it.

And this is what I am thinking when I look at :

I want to be a tree of righteousness, a planting of the Lord. I want to have strong roots and I want to bear good fruit . I want to be consistent and of strength that is not my own. As the tree takes the strength from the water in the ground, I want to take my strength from God and God alone.

I want to be known as a tree of righteousness, a planting of the Lord.

That is my prayer and that is what I think of when I my eyes rest on this tree that someone I barely knew gave to me before she died. WOW!

" Today is a GOOD day "

I don't know how to name this blogpost. Today is a good day.....yes ...this is how I should start this post. Today is a good day. I wonder why because the last 8 days have not been good days per se.
The last days have been filled with confusion, comdemnation, wasting of time, feeling overwhelmed and overly tired, with little focus and too many thoughts in my heaon my mind.
Whenever something like this happens, I immediately suspect one thing: a depressive phase coming up. I blogged about the bipolar condition I have been suffering from a few blog posts back.
I want to learn and heal. I know that God is sovereign and HE has healed me already in so many ways. His healing process often is gradually.
So there I was now last week: it was hard to focus even with little tasks. The thoughts in my mind were of a comdemning nature and even praying was hard. I didn't like it. I realised I need to go for a blood test again to see if my medication is right. But all in all, I surrendered to God, knowing that HE KNOWS, running to HIM into HIS arms.

Then comes today......and today is so different. I wake up early and have no problem getting up. I have a good time in God's word and I do enjoy my work. What a difference from yesterday to today. I have observed HIS favor over me in those last days....in little detailed things and it made me so so thankful, so so grateful. I know that when I am weak HE IS STRONG, HE is at work and HE KNOWS.
I will still have my blood checked this week.
And I take refuge in HIM who is able even when I am so not able.

Pictures like this let me feel at peace......

Romeo, oh Romeo

"O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet."

This is what Juliet speaks as she is on the balcony at night of the ball in the Capulet house in Act 1 of William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
I think this will be the only time I mention the famous play. Why do I do so in the first place?
Because I found a name for the cat that comes to visit me often. He is a neighbor's cat.
As he started to visit me, I thought he is a girl (oh my) and I called him Princess. I must have given him an identity crisis - lol- but then I realised my mistake. The first words that came into my mind were: Lill' Romeo. That's how I named him since I did not know his real name.  A week ago, I found out who is the acatual owner. SO I went and introduced myself. I asked what his real name is.
I was stunned, awestruck, totally blown away when the owner said: His name is Romeo!!!!!!!!!
WHAAAAAAAT? That is so so cool! It is like he told me his real name and I heard him.ha!

My friends who visit  me also got aquainted with Lill Romeo. He is so gentle and really sweet. He loves to cuddle and to relax and chill. I don't mind having him around and he does make me laugh often
So this is my Romeo, sweet Romeo!

My first Dance Competition: The Valentines Matchdance

The theme was Valentines Day. That meant outfits in the colours red, black, white and pink. The dances that we could compete in were: Waltz, Vienna Waltz, Bolero, Tango, Box Rumba, International Rumba and Western Swing.

I chose Tango, Box Rumba and the Western Swing. I could not believe that I actually went for it with the few one on one dance lessons that I have.

My goal: have fun and dance for Jesus – enjoy and not get caught up in the competition-side of things.

It was on a Saturday (18^th of Feb) at 9:30am local time that my first competition started. I was so blessed to have support with me. Two of my friends had come to cheer me on: Jane and Edna. The are both dear to me. I had led them through the Genesis process 2 years ago. Jane even brought her camera with and became the unofficial personal photographer of mine. Grin! I had to wait for my turn and I got more nervous by the minute. Finally, I had to dance the Western Swing as my first dance – its a nice sensual dance that respects personal space. As I danced, I could feel my legs were like pudding. My second dance was the Box-Rumba and I was nervous before that one. I had just learned some arm styling and the coordination was not that easy. As we go on the floor, my ears hear a beautiful song and the melody put me at peace immediately. It was Hungry Eyes form the movie Dirty Dancing. I knew that that was Jesus. I said thank you and enjoyed this dance without thinking too much of doing anything wrong. That was my icebreaker and the Tango was a great time.

I could have done things better but that is always a fact.

My dance teacher was nice and encouraging. I did not place at all which made me a bit sad for a moment until I realized that I danced against 5 other couples, who had been dancing on that level (level 3) much longer that I have.

I loved the vibe and our studio was just so cool: cheering for everyone and creating a great atmosphere, caring for each other. I am thankful - what a great day! Thank you to Jane and Edna who made this so so so special! Thank you to Marelise and Karen for being my friends there and supporting me and encouraging me!

V for Jesus: My valentines Day 2012

Valentines Day

V for Jesus ;)

I have wanted to write a blog post for a while but life has changed a lot and it is even harder to find time.

Let me tell you about a great valentines day a week ago. It started off with a lovely pilates session. After that I got my car Snowflake ready for a road trip. During Pilates I had the thought to either go to Franshoek (a town 1 ½ hours away with strong French and Durch roots and beautiful scenery and rich history) or to Hout Bay to go see the World of Birds. I felt, Jesus and I should drive out to Franshoek. I got excited because I had never gone there by myself. It was already awesome to find the palce on my new aquired road map. Then on the road, I started chatting to Jesus and more and more as I drive out the out this area...I was amazed at the beauty that awaited me. I drove out to the Winelands and past beautiful estates. As I arrived in Franshoek, I found a really sweet litte street cafe where I had a garden salad and an orange juice. I heard a bird singing and as I turned around, it was the owner's bird. He was totally yellow with a red beac and his name was Nana. I had him climb my shoulder and giving me kisses. So I got kisses from a bird on Valentines Day - hehe GREAT!

Later I realized, I really had to come to Franshoek, but the Lord had honored my wish to see birds anyway! How great is that. It was an awesome day of just wondering around and talking to Jesus.

Finally! 12 years

Oh boy! I have nor written anything for qutie some time. Please forgive me. Whenever I got a great idea, I would start formulating phrases in my head and then I would not have the time to blog.

Happy New Year to you all! I can still say it, it is January..at least for another 11 days.

Today I want to blog on my 12 year journey as a born again Christian. I have somthing else to blog on a bit later maybe next week as my time allows it.

12 years in 2012

Yes, I invited Jesus into my heart in January 2000. I was living a total different life. I was engaged to be married. I had just looked at some bridal dresses and I was studzing for a few months in the French part of Switzerland. I can only stand in awe when I look back. My decision changed my life, turned it around: not for the worse but for the better. I started my walk, my exciting journey with an invisible God. Absolutely cool.

The number 12 speaks of God's order as my Pastor told me yesterday! I like that. 12 years full of memories. 12 years in which Jesus has really changed me a lot, healed my heart a lot and helped me to see who I am!

I 've had a change from the inside out! Watch the difference that a pciture can tell you already:

So here is the evidence

Some ecclectic memories from these 12 years:

*One night I was crying my heart out. I really needed healing and felt so desolate - that is  when I started to experience the peace of GOD

*0n the 23rd of June 2003 I got baptized out of sheer obediance. I had been baptized (sprinkled) as a baby and had accepted it when I became a Christian but God had been talking to me about baptism and after 3 years I gave in!

*God told me that my parents will be Christians during  my stay there in 2009 and it happened, so so amazing to see something beeing fullfilled I had been on my knees since 2000!

*One evening when I asked God why I bumped into Pastor Xavier all the time (I stayed in Gresham Oregon USA that time), God actually told me that He had put the continent Africa on my heart. I actually heard HIS voice resounding in my heart and it dropped me to my knees  and feet.

There is so much more but that just popped into my head out of all the awesome times and revelations