Face like a flint (Isaiah 50:7)

Isaiah 50:7 (New International Version) 7 Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.

I was reminded of this verse yesterday. God gave it to me years ago when I was an intern in Oregon.Yesterday as I was praying, I was thinking of this verse again. You know, the first time that I came across this piece of Scripture was actually in my first weeks of being a Christian. I did not know the Bible really then. But I knew that I needed to persevere. All hell had broken lose after I declared Jesus the Lord of my life. One thing in particular was my relationship to my fiance back then.I was bombarded with really evil stuff. Especially my mind was a battle ground of its own.I knew I had to hold on to Jesus - that was all that made sense to me. The friend that had brought me to Christ, prayed for me that Jesus might set my mind like a flint. I really liked that prayer for that is what I so so needed. I could actually picture it and made it my daily prayer to Jesus:

Please make my mind like flint!

That is when I first got to know the verse. Later as I learned more and more to read the Bible, I studied this vese, this passage. Having a mind like flint is all about an attitude just like Jesus had on the cross (Phil 2). He set his mind like flint when the darkness came and HE for -the first time- felt the loneliness and seperation from HIS Father...He felt all our sin and shame...HE needed that mind to be set like a flint!

So here I am and I say: Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.

My mind is hard now against all the lies ot the enemy..... and my heart knows that I won't be put to shame because I trust in Jesus and Jesus alone!

H.E.A.L. with Jesus - a diagram

This is what I see Jesus showing me for my calling...in South Africa and beyond! May the broken be healed, may Christ be proclaimed!!!

FREIHEIT! FREEDOM!!

I thought I write a little and proclaim FREEDOM in my life. I will attach a picture to this post that totally shows what my heart is longing for. Freedom from chains of performance that seem to bind me. At least I am fighting that a lot. I will concentrate on FREIHEIT right now: that day I was on a walk with my mom and I showed her where I would walk and spend time outside during the week. She loved it. Then we passed by a little playground and I saw the slide, the red slide. I gave my camera to my mom , told her to take a picture of me and then I ran up there to slide down and scream like a little girl. I did this 3 times and had such fun. My mom was laughing out loud and we both had fun. I need this freedom again. I feel I seem to have lost it somehwere on the way. FREIHEIT

OH Lord, cover me and free me from that performance-driven crap inside my head. Help me to BE with you and help me to receive from you, help me to be mroe Kerstin Sunshine who has been set free 7 years and 9 months ago...and a few days. Lord I need you for I want to do waht you ask me to. My heart is for you Jesus, Your Princess Bride Kerstin

Missions work and the role of the church

I am learning more and more how big missions work. It is the will of God to go and share the good news and make disciples. The latter is a big part of the mission God has given me. My heart is to disciple in the area of healing, to share resources and to pour out myself to point to God. May His any person's identity in Christ be revealed and the truth will set this person free. The Lord is the healer and perfecter, the healer and restorer of our souls. As a missionary I can give the church a part in this, so that the church can own what God is calling me to as well. This seems then to be for the greater glory because the church opens herself up for more in His kingdom. This can bring new life to the church and can give broader vision and new vision to her members. It is like catching a bug, it is contagious and sooner or later it is not about the missionfield that God has given me, but about the Lord doing HIS work in the missionfield as well as in the church supporting and walking with me. This is an exciting symbiose, an exciting teamwork. I will write a more detailed entry about what God has put on my heart as a missionary for HIM.

It is about HIM , only about HIM.

Read about my healing ministry and go to my ministry blog

Jesus showed me a vision = the foundation of my healing ministry!!! A few months ago, in the middle of a worship service as I am singing and praising God, I had a vision..clear before me....I would say I lived the vision:

I saw me standing in a dark corridor. In front of me was Jesus. He looked at me very calmly. As I looked over his right shoulder, I saw a door standing open. Out of that room came a hideous smell. It smelled like death , pain, fear and the most horrible thing you could imagine. I panicked and wanted to run. "Fear not, my Kerstin, "said Jesus," would you go with me?" He pointed to that door and I screamed: "NOOOOOO, Jesus are you nuts?????? I won't go near that door, near that room!" In my mind, thousands of thoughts ran back and forth: Well has Jesus ever let you down? No. Has he been mean to you in any way? No. Well, then go with him and trust. So I did and I thought I should do it quickly so I would not change my mind out of this immense fear that I sensed. We came to that room and the smell was nearly unbearable, I felt my gag reflex and my whole body revolted. I wanted to run away, run as fast as I could to a place as furthest away possible. Jesus took my hand and we entered the room. To my right I saw a carcass- that is where the hidous smell was coming from. We walked past that and Jesus sat me on a white hospital bed right across from that carcass. We both sat there and I struggled with the smell, with the strong urge to run and the panic that had taken hold of me. As I looked at that carcass, I realized that the carcass was ME. I was in a deep shock and did not know what to do. Jesus sat down right beside me, on the left side of me; he took my left hand into his and put my head on his shoulder. Then he said the following: "Kerstin, do not be afraid, what you see in front of you is only an echo of the pain, the fear and the death that has happened to you. It is not real. I am real, squeeze my hand! I need you to stay in the pain of your wounds a little bit longer, so I can fully take this pain away from you. It is part of my healing that you need to feel it and not run away or fight it away. Stay with me and trust me, I AM HERE WITH YOU!"

Wow, I suddenly found myself back i the worship service, totally amazed for Jesus had just shown me how HIS healing ministry works and how much I just want to run away as soon as I encounter pain. This I take as the foundation of the healing ministry that God has put on my heart. It is about HIm and how He can help us to deal with our wounds, the wounds from our past and all the hard stuff, the death inside of us. May Life come forth and may Healing begin in Jesus' matchless name!!!!!

Test in trusting - Promises need faith!!

Wow, so I am in a total trusting training here. Trusting in the lord my God....... HE is my shelter and my solid rock on which I stand. As I am reading in Hebrews I learn how important it is to have God's promises followed by faith I need to put in HIM and HIM alone. Words without acts are dead as James declared and it is true. The Israelites had all those promises from THE ALMIGHTY GOD and yet they did not put their trust in HIM and so those promises have were not fully fullfilled. In Hebrews 4,I read about God's rest and I yearn to enter this rest and I say and proclaim that I trust my God to fullfill allt He promises that HE has given me. HE will come through!

My dear dear Lord, thank you for givingme promises and now I tell you that I trust you in all you do to fullfill those! Help my mistrust and give me strength to stand firm in these days! YOur Princess K

Test in trust, promises need faith

WOW, I am tested in my trust to the Lord big time. Yet, I stand firm on the solid rock, HIS promise. Reading in Hebrews this mroning made me realize that God's promises need to come with faith on my part. God had promised the Israelites so much and yet when they were in the desert, they did not put their trust in GOD and acted on that faith. Thus the promises were nor fullfilled. I strive to enter into God's rest as it talks about in Hebrews 4. And I need God's help to trust in the promises that He has given me. WOW, what powerful Scripture!

I trust and stand, you are my portion, my deliverer, my shelter,s trong tower and I come to you in time of need: NOW! Your Princess :)

YOU ARE MY VICTORY!

Victory , that is what I proclaim, victory and I am not standing alone...all of you are standing with me, an army of warriors, an army of lovers, an army of encouragers, an army of intercessors! Victory over this life that is to be proclaimed...every day!

Lord, this life of mine longs to be lived for you, fully pured out for you...with all my mistakes and all my wounds...fully poured out for you, Lord! Why? Because that is the only thing that makes sense in this world! Your will be done! I am in your hands dear Jesus! Hold me tight! Your Sunshine!

Pray with me - HE WILL reign! a lot of money still to come :)

I think it would be good to split all taht money and break it down taht i still need so you can pray with me very specifically:

My admin. expenses will be high in August : 580 $, after that it is 280 $ each month . My housing will be 500$ a month from November on My medical insurance will be 260 $ per month My plane tickets from the US to Germnay and to Cape town are all in all 1760 $ Food will be 300$ each month counting from November on Medication will be 150 $ each month.

It is always easier to pray and to look at money broken down into segments, a good friend of mine told me once. Please keep all this in ur prayers. I trust God in all this and have piece right now but it is not easy. Keep me in your prayers and that I can trust my God who can do so much more than I even dare to think. If you feel led to support me financially with whatever amount , then please make the check out to (tax-deductable) East HIll Church with South Africa Long term Missions Kerstin Berthold on the memo line the address is:

East Hill Church PO Box 650 97030 Gresham

or to my current home adress here:

Kerstin Berthold c/o Rodriguez 4233 SE 182nd AVE PMB 358 97030 Gresham

Thank you for standing with me ! Kerstin

Worthy to be praised in the midst of this storm

I praise my GOD for His love endures forever! He has a mighty hand and an outsrtechted arm and He can perform miracles! With all I have in me now, I praise HIS holy name. He is the one who had lunch with me at Boccelli's today. He is the one who is my PEACE!! My comforter is to be praised for He is steaady when I am not. He has a good plan for me, a plan to propser me. I thank my JEsus here and now and proclaim again I TRUST YOU, JESUS!

I am ready to embark on this new journey

as ready as I can be in the midst of this! AGAIN I TRUST MY JESUS-

my Jesus is the best, he is my best friend, he is there with me and for me, he shows me the coolest most fun pictures and he makes me laugh. My Jesus dances with me, my Jesus holds me and comforts me. Jesus my comforter!!!