Pachelbel - His canon and thoughts

Last week, Jesus put a very important, beautiful, refreshing and calming yet exciting piece of music on my heart. It is the canon in D by Pachelbel. The composer Johann Pachelbel was a German Baroque composer and this piece is his most favorite one. The Caonon, first published in 1919 and then rediscovered later is frequently played at weddings. I love this piece of music....always have but last week it started to fill my heart in a new way. I ofund myself humming the music again and again. Here is a link to youtube to listen to it yourself. A canon is a great composition of music. It has a leader (the main melody) and 1 or more followers ( these are the same ore close melodies that start after the leader and follow it). It sounds beautiful. Why would it be played at weeding? I find one simple answer: two melodies of one kind , one flowing the other, both in the same tact/beat and stroke. That is how I see a married couple. Now let me backtrack a few weeks when I was still in the States. Friends of mine have this wooden figure of a dancing couple

Whenver I looked at it, my heart would sigh. I love the way she nestles her head on his right chest and he takes up her left hand and puts it on the other checst. There is sweet intimacy displayed. I had to take the apicture of this. And when I look it now, I can here the canon being played in my head....no in my heart. I want to dance like this, not only with my king of kings Jesus, b with the man of God that HE has for me and I am waiting.

Bits and pieces

I finally remembered my password to be able to update my blog. For days I have been driving around with lots of ideas of what I can blog about next. Now as I am sitting here I forgot most of them. I have been back to the missionfield, back to South Africa for nearly 2 weeks now. My trip to the States and Gmernay has been a great one. I was so glad to see some friends and supporters and I really relaxed a lot. Likeweise, I met new people and enjoyed that as well. The hifhlight for me was to be with my parents for 7 days. My mom took time off at work and we had the whole 7 days to ourselves. And yes, surely that was not enough but I was so happy for that time. Needless to say that I miss them now more than before. Life being back is interesting. We are moving from spring to summer quickly, the wind is strong and I am really tired. I can sleep a lot. I have arrived somehow but am still arriving in ministry. Let me tell you of a wonderful thing that happened yesterday: I was asked to preach at an old age home. It is the one I used to go to every month with Pastor Xavier 2 years ago. It felt like coming home. Those dear people welcomed me with a traditional hug from every one :) I had felt thes tirring of the hOly Spirit to preach on weeds. Yes WEEDS. So I did. Jesus is the garnedner of the gardens of our heart. With HIM we can pull out every weed from the root. Jesus touched the people and it was great to be witness of HIS doing so. I guess it is part of being ready IN AND OUT of seasaon. I will again more about other things that fill my heart, otehr things that I observe here and otehr things that make me smile/laugh/or cry.

It needs to be a party of LIFE - it is good to know where I am going

Ok this might be a weird post for some but somehow I thought about it the other night. It came to me and I liked it. Although I do not really think about it much. I had to think about how I would want my funeral or memorial service to be whenever God would call me home. First of all, I don't believe in cemeteries and graves. When I go, I will be with Jesus and the body I leave here will be dust and nothing more. It would cost so much to uphold a grave, to pay for the place and all. So I would want to be burned and my ashes to buried at a random beautiful place on a pasture under a tree, a willow maybe. Then I would want a time for friends and family to come together, not like a memorial service, not like a service at all, more like a party, a party of life. Everyone would get a balloon at the entrance, a colored balloon. A friend, a leader or pastor or family friend would share my heart in simple words:

"Kerstin is sorry to leave you but she is finally HOME, she wants to share her joy with you she also wanted you all to come to be there for each other, to hold each other up and pray for each other, to form new friendships right here right now. This is a time and place for something new to be born - a place where we say good-by but also where we welcome something and someone new!"

I know some of my favorite songs will be sung and joy will come through the tears of sorrow. I love life and I love Jesus, I love people and I want to share this joy even beyond the day that my DADDY will take me :)

May I introduce?

Working through things in life, I have come to know this specific person quite well. Most of the people would not see her as a person, but rather a thing, a system. I have come to understand that she actually is a person and she changes her gender when in a man. What am I talking about? WHo am I talking about? Let me introduce you to Mrs. L - Mrs. L is as old as I am. She has a specific mission in my life, a task so to speak. She is my bodyguard. She is there so I won't feel pain or fear. She helps me to survive. L stands for Limbic System. I blogged on it earlier. I have come to understand that she is a person, a person who wants to intervene so much :) Let me explain. When a situation does not feel "safe", she picks it up immediately and then she wants to jump to my rescue. When I was little and not able to resolve issues, I needed her to survive, to be ditracted from pain and fears. However, now that I am an adult, I don't need her like that anymore. I have had this converstation with her where I tell her that I don't need her in the same capacity anymore over and over again but she does not seem to listen. In a male person, she might be called Mr. L and Mr. L has the same task in life. Mrs. L is the one that acts up and I am learning how to coexist with her, how to calm her down, how to make her some herbal tea and let her relax in a nice hammock so I can deal with pain and fears in my life to actually resolve them. This is a slightly different look at the limbic system and how it stands in the way of true healing. - hope you had fun :) I am making some herbal tea now to give to Mrs. L and then I go on with my day. haha

What a SMILE can do

Have you ever noticed what a SMILE can do to the countenance of a person? Place yourself in front of a mirror. Look at yourself and DON'T smile....then all of sudden give yourself a big SMILE. When you are out and about, observe the people around you. Check what a difference it does to a the appearance of a person when he/she smiles. What a SMILE can do!!! A SMILE can show the bring forth the inner beauty of us all. The radiance that is found within. This weekend, I was honored to be at a ballroom dance competition. Two teens of my Youth group were competing and did a great job (Go Kylie, go Lawrence!! As I sat there watching, I observed all the other people dancing as well. What a difference it made when I see a person smiling. Go and check it out :) Let's give each other a SMILE and see what it can do

Thankful

I am so thankful. Where do I start? Every morning when I drive to the office: the church here, I am speechless. It looks so good and I remember whenI came over 2 years ago. The building did nothave a roof, nor windows or doors and look at it now. I am thankful for my health, for getting up in the morning and feeling strength, for being able to go out of my house, for being able to drive around, for being able to sleep well uring the night. I am really thankful, grateful and humbled in the presence of my GOD.

Becki Rusk

This post if about Becki Rusk. I met her nearly 2 years ago here in CapeTown. She came with her husband John to have COastlands Community Church to be their base and home church for when I travel. They are missionaries. I really like Becki and even now that she sngs with the angels int throneroom and is with Jesus, I cannot stop thining about her. She went to be with Jesus after 8 months of ling cancer. I enjoyed her so much while she was here. She was a real servant - someone who listened very well. Whenever I see lavenar bushes I think back of her andhow she would stop and smell them before wlking on. I love her laughter and her smiles. She really ad a gentle soul. When I drive arond here in Table View,there are so many little memories that pop up daily. I never saw her upset. When we had a small gorup that met every friday at 5:30am and I was not able to get my car, Becki would come and pick me up, take the extra time - it blessed me tremendously. She always had this peace about her, she was centered in Jesus and I could see it, feel it , even smell it. One day I met with her at the mall. It was shortly after Johnand her had moved here, found a place to stay. Becki told me that day tha she had always loved working out and walking but that there was not really a good possibility to do that here. Then she thought of walking around the mall for an hour with me....we walked and talked during that time, sahred hearts...and hse got her workout!! Whenever I am in the gym right now, I think of her. THen our outing to Paternoster: It was an outreach and Becki wanted to go so bad. She was already in pain during that time but did not know about the cancer. She drove and we took 2 of the YOuth and Zaks with us. It was an awesome experience that I will never forget. I guess I cosnider myself very blessd to have spent time with her. I miss her and my heart and prayers go out to John, her mom Novella and her dad Ralph and to all the family. Gone too soon..... but then God must have really wanted her with HIM....

plain EVIL

I am telling you now why I call this post PLAIN EVIL. Yesterday as part of my job for a saturday clean up, I had to water the plants in our two gardens and remove any type of weed. The watering was great as I also watered myself a bit (laugh). That wasn't bad at all because summer has started here in Cape Town and the sun was out....so a splash of cold water was awesome. As I was watering the plants a "plant" caught my eye. It looked nice, yellow and seemed two embrace the normal plant. As I kneeled down adn looked underneath, I saw a network of roots: this was a major weed. The more I tried to get to the root, the main root of this big weed, I got disgusted: it was huuuuge and it was deep in the ground.As I was digging I found another one of that kind. I thougth:

These ones are plain evil!! They disguise themselves as being nice and beautiful colourful plants but in reality they are evil and not good- in reality they actually take the water, the plants should get."

As I was praying, I could see so easily how that one was an illustration of sins in my life and of lies from the devil. They can sound so real, so right but are meant to do evil. When I don't look at things in my heart, my garden in there will be infested by such plain evil soon because evil grows...... We heard our Pastor preach this morning about Godly desire and good intentions and how good intentions can be just like those weeds.....looking good on the outside but no eternal value.

I desire more of God in me

A "hell" of a week

It is friday evening, I am sitting at a little Cafe in a mall watching all the people go to the movies. They all pass my table where I am sitting trying to find a breather from all that happened this last week: my email account got hijacked, my facebook account as well (not to mention my nearly nonexisting myspace account)!! A few hours ago, I found out why I had other problems as well. Back to the movie crowd now: it is friday night so they all buzz in from all sides. While I am watching this scene unfold I ask myself a funny question:

Why do they all look so put together? / Why do they all walk as if they proudly displayed the latest fashion?/ Why all this effort when they go see a movie IN UTTER DARKNESS???

Have you ever thougth of that? It is nice to sit here and relax,breathing in....slowly...breathing out. I learned a lot this week. Learning , real learning is painful because it always costs us something. However, learning is important and I want o learn. I love the feeling when I realized something and am able to put it into practice now. I am glad I can sit here and observe, breathing in and breathing out. The week started in church with a message that really hits the sweet spot right now: Give thanks and Praise God in ALL circumstances. My soul and heart aches for the peace of God that transcends all understanding, so I start to thank the Lord (Pil 4)

Face like a flint (Isaiah 50:7)

Isaiah 50:7 (New International Version) 7 Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.

I was reminded of this verse yesterday. God gave it to me years ago when I was an intern in Oregon.Yesterday as I was praying, I was thinking of this verse again. You know, the first time that I came across this piece of Scripture was actually in my first weeks of being a Christian. I did not know the Bible really then. But I knew that I needed to persevere. All hell had broken lose after I declared Jesus the Lord of my life. One thing in particular was my relationship to my fiance back then.I was bombarded with really evil stuff. Especially my mind was a battle ground of its own.I knew I had to hold on to Jesus - that was all that made sense to me. The friend that had brought me to Christ, prayed for me that Jesus might set my mind like a flint. I really liked that prayer for that is what I so so needed. I could actually picture it and made it my daily prayer to Jesus:

Please make my mind like flint!

That is when I first got to know the verse. Later as I learned more and more to read the Bible, I studied this vese, this passage. Having a mind like flint is all about an attitude just like Jesus had on the cross (Phil 2). He set his mind like flint when the darkness came and HE for -the first time- felt the loneliness and seperation from HIS Father...He felt all our sin and shame...HE needed that mind to be set like a flint!

So here I am and I say: Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.

My mind is hard now against all the lies ot the enemy..... and my heart knows that I won't be put to shame because I trust in Jesus and Jesus alone!

On Eagle's Wings

It is said that the eagle is the only bird that actually flies higher when a storm is coming. The eagle flies higher and higher to be in the end above the storm

It's tuesday and today I am with Jesus 9 years, 8 months and 6 days. I realize I live in the time and day of God's grace and mercy (Psalm 145). I come before HIM with a heavy heart.It's hard to define even really why my heart is heavy. I kind of know why but still I know that my God is with me in everything. I have a lot to be thankful for and I am thankful!! (a new appartment and the end of a nomad life living out of 1 suitcase this week!!) At the same time, I know that I can fly on HIS eagle's wings higher than this storm, higher than this storm of transition that rattles my soul, higher than this storm of worry. Up there, I will be able to focus again, up there my soul can rest knowing that my God, my Deliverer does not only take great care of me but of my friends and my family as well!I love to be on HIS eagle's wings. So that's where you will find me today! And only through His mercy and grace, I can find myself there. He is faithful, His words are sure, He never changes and HE knows me. He knows YOU , too!!

YOuth-Worship

It's monday today , so today is YOUTH night here at Coastlands Community Church. In the office I was asked to create some youth slides for the announcements at church. I had fun playing around with some pictures and what you see here is what I came up with. We are currently in a series about WORSHIP. I pray that God's Spirit transforms us all as we draw near and worhsip...with all we have and wherever we are. I can worship God by being good at the things I do, by thanking HIM, by trusting HIM... All those things have not come that easy to me in the last few weeks. I let the god of WORRY reign way too muc. I was confronted with some fears that run really deep. I could see how the limbic system in my brain would kick in again and again. I let doubts come in which made it harder to trust. I am so thankful that Jesus loves me irrespective of all that. He is outragously in love with me and I receive this today!

I worship God Adonnai, my Jehovah Jireh, my Strong Tower, my FOREVER.

Becki

This blog post shall be about Rebecka aka BECKI Rusk. I met her shortly after I arrived in Cape Town in February of last year. She came with her husband John as missionaries to the same church. They both know Pastor Xavier and his wife Heather for a while. It has been a blessing to be here with them. Last friday, Becki was diagnosed with an agressive type of cancer. They left this last week for treatment back to Phoenix/Arizona. My prayers are with them, with Becki..every day. God, your healing touch on Becki. Be with her HOly Spirit in this difficult time. Becki, I miss you :)

ImmerseFULLY

In the last few weeks, this comes up a lot in our Praise and Worship times and even in the times we pray as intercessors for the church. The word is based on chapter 47 in Ezekiel. When we enter God's presence, do we want to enter completely? Do we want to IMMERSE ourselves fully into HIS presence? Do I want to be in the water of the flow of HIS presence ankle deep? Knee deep? Sholder deep? or fully immersed? SO now when I worship...I imagine our church building as a huuuuuuuuuge swimming pool. As I enter, to I jump in and swim a bit and then dive under the water? Or do I stand and watch from a distance as others jump in and worship in Spirit and in truth? Do I even get jealous of them? Do I only stand in the water of of LIFE and still hold on to my control of the situation oder do I let go, let go and immerse myself in the Father's arms? I tell you something: I want to immerse myself fully in HIS presence, I want to let go of all and give HIM everything. I want to swim and dive and get wet in the water of HIS love!!

FOLLOWtheFLOW

Wow, this is a little thought while I was learning how to build a wooden frame today with the Pastor. I picked up a little leftover piece of wood. I looked at it and frowned..then stood there amazed while the following thought ran through my mind:

Jesus learned from his father Joseph to be a Carpenter. He learned from him how to treat wood best to build what he wanted.I saw the grain and the lines and thought about the Holy Spirit. We also need to work well with the Holly Spirit in our lives. We need to follow the flow - follow the flow withthe Holy Spirit....just like what the Carpenter does with the wood, follow the flow of th elines, of the grain.

Jesus learned well under Joseph and I bet that was a great asset for his minsitry later: His ministry

GiveTHANKS

Normally, I would have preached on my 9th birthday- how fun! But they postponed the meeting and ministering to the older people for a week. That is fine with me- I am prepared now. Yes, I am pumped by God's truth. I want to share it with all of you who are intersted in a simple truth that has the most impact on our lives: GIVING THANKS- Stop for a moment: what are you thankful for right now...right now in this moment? I am thankful that God is in control and that He guides me and that I will see dear friends of mine from Germany in the next days or in the next week!! Giving thanks is powerful- Giving thanks puts us in a humble place- Giving thanks is God's answer to life!!! There are two very powerful accounts of Jesus found in the gospel of John where we can learn something from Jesus concerning giving thanks. 1-Check out the account when Jesus feeds the 5000 in John chapter 6. We do know the story: After Jesus had just confronted the Saduccees and given proof that he was the Son of God, he crossed the sea of Galilee and found himself followed by at least 5000 people (it says 5000 men and therer probably were children and women too). There was no money to buy food for all. Then a lillte boy gave them some fish and a loaf of bread. Now, think with me: I would have prayed likethis: please heavenly Father, please multiply this food, make it more so we can all have at least a little bit, Amen. But what did Jesus do? Have a look: He took the bread , broke it and gave THANKS to God- then he gave out the pieces and there was even enough to fill 12 baskets in the end!! A Miracle!!

What does giving thanks do? It multiplies provision!!

2-Check out the account when Jesus comes "late" to the tomb of his friend Lazarus, who had died. Jesus was moved to tears (the chortes verse in the Bible: Jesus wept!. When He stands in front of the tomb Jesus prayed. Was it a long prayer? Was it a prayer like: Dear Father, please give Lazarus his life back- please perform a miracle? NO - look closer with me....Jesus GAVE THANKS.

Giving thanks brings resuurection- Giving thanks brings things to life!

So I learned to powerful truths from the way Jesus acted and prayed to HIS Heavenly Father:

1. Giving thanks brings multiplication in provision and 2. Giving thanks brings resurrection.

That is powerful and I do believe there are more examples of truth int he BIBLE of how powerful the very simple act of GIVING THANKS really is. I applied it a lot this week already. A lot of times I don't feel like giving thanks and yet through doing it...God is changing my heart! Greetings from Kerstin,with a thankful heart :) Let us approach the throne of grace iwth confidence and let us enter into HIS Gates with thanksgiving!!!

1yearAGO

1 year ago, one year ago, one year ago…..this week I am pondering about those ten days when I left the States for a short mission trip to Cape Town South Africa last year in late April. I remember how afraid I was for I knew that God was heavily on my heart and I was about to decide to move here and do what God wants me to do. I was confronted with sheer fear and anxiety for that new step and new season of my life would be sooo different. I was blessed here last year and I gave my full heart to Jesus knowing that wherever HE sends me that would be the place where I would go (see my past posts from that time last year)(and this one).... This morning, God reminded me of HIS work in me during that last year. The moment I set my foot on American soul again after being in South Africa I knew with no shadow of a doubt that that is where I would go next. God gave me such a big assurance that I could help but smile all the time. I felt a new confidence arise in me and I know that was the work of my Jehovah Jireh (Genesis 22:14), my Jehovah Rohi (Isaiah 44:28). Yes He is my provider and HE is the Lord my Shepherd, the One who protects me, provides for me and who is present with me. Now, one year later, I am actually living in Cape Town, South Africa and I know that this is where I am supposed to be. 1 year later I have another testimony to point to my Jesus for HE is freeing me from fear and anxiety and HE helps me to risk and walk with HIM! Every day anew!!!!!

myJERICHO

Culture shock...my JerichoShare 2:40pm Wednesday, Mar 19 | Edit Note | Delete Wow it is three weeks that I set my feet on South African soil and since then I've walked this ground....on the beach....on the streets....on the Ostrich Farm.... so after realizing more and more taht I am experiencing some culture shock...I decided to proclaim taht I am starting to walk around my Jericho and when the time comes I will blow the horn and I will sing and worship and after a while of walking and praying around this Jericho I WILL see the walls fall!!!!! My Jericho? that is me being here in CApe Town, where i know God called me to but NOW finding HOW HE wants me to do what He has given me and knowing GOD that will be quite a journey cuz our God cannot be put into a box and I try not to put HIM there. My heart is willing ..sometimes fear creeps in and I ask myself how on earth am I supposed to do what God is calling me to...but then I know taht I just need to be Kerstin and HE will do the rest :) I call the walls of my Jericho to fall!!! JERICHO and its fall!!!!!!! read about in thebook of Joshua

@Jenny

Here I am , finally posting a view pictures I hope. I have been with Granny Jenny for all this week now. Unfortunetely but expectedly, I have entered culture shock now. My emoitons go rampart on me and the levels of me feeling things are as deep as teh ocean and as high as tablemountain. I know it though and that makes all the difference. Here are some pictures of how I am living right now and also more. On monday I went to a fabrique shop with the lady I stay with. I saw a worker there, I started praying when I saw her and thought that maybe God had something there. So I said: Lord, talk to me if you want to. He did and I found out that that worker came from the Congo speaking French. So I delivered th word God had for her and we started sahring God's love in the middle of that fabrique shop.! WOW! 2 days ago and I went to the beach to talk to God and praise HIM when I asked a man to take a picture of me. It turns ou that that was a divine appointment and we could pray ont he beach. Every day I come to realize how much God is not only with me but working through me!! this is incredible but I trust my God although I am going through some lonely and hard spots right now. God is good and HE is sovereign. TO HIM BE ALL THE GLORY!!

BeaconOfHOPEandOtherThoughts

Nelson Mandela called Tablemountain a Beacon Of Hope. That is what it was to him and so many other prisoners who were held on Robben Island for so many years. Actually this mountain fascinates me. Wherever I go here, it is the mountain that I see. Then I look for the face of this man looking up into heaven and I smile. It is a Beacon Of Hope for me as well. Hope for God's way of things and for HIS timing. The verse God gave me last night while I was in a homegroup is the following: Proverbs 16:3 -Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed (Amplified Bible). This is what I have been doing...all my expectations and fears and doubts and burdens and hunger and thirst..all this I am rolling upon my Lord. So many thoughts run through my mind when I am walking along the streets that don't have any pavement for walking people: Where do I need to walk ..on the left side? on the right side? I do have to look right first when I want to cross a road not like we do (we need to look left first then right). All is twisted. The driver sits on the right side in the car and the car drives on the let side of the road(aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargggghh)..... I am getting to know thi area a bit better. I actually stay close to the beach called Dolphin beach. Blouubergstrand is further up in the west. God tells me to be patient and to wait upon HIM, ok, I say. Last night He really blessed me by being invited to my landladz Jane's homegroup. We worshipped prayed and fellowhsipped. Oh how I needed taht. So here we go Proverbs 16 verse 3: Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed.