Kerstin, you are not supposed to settle!

While I was doing my devotions this morning, reading in Micah and Hebrews, I was reminded of a verys special time where God spoke to me earlier this year. We were in our weekly staff meeting at East Hill Church and our now Senior Pastor was sharing. He showed us a wooden staff that he got from a friend with Hebrews 11 engraved on it. Jason told us the following:

So one day this handmade wooden staff was on my desk, a gift for me and I was touched. God had spoken to me through one of our Foursquare leaders in Hawai recently that I was not supposed to settle but I was supposed to be a Pioneer. In this transition of becoming the next senior pastor of East Hill Church I have had a lot of challenges. So when I came into my offices and saw that wooden staff, God's voice was loud and clear to me: Jason, you are a Pioneer, not a Settler.

While jason shared, my heart started to beating faster and my cheeks were covered with tears flowing down my face. I heard God's voice that tuesday morning sometime in January in the Office Complex South of East Hill CHurch Kerstin, you are not suppposed to settle! Needless to say that I was absolutely on my knees in my heart. See, just a few days prior to that, I had told Jesus: You know Jesus, I could live like this for a long time...doing the mail here at East Hill, learning more in Restoration Ministries and going to classes and having all these wonderful relationships here. This is perfect. Then God says, He does not want me to settle. BOOM! Deep in my heart I know that is what I am made for but it is not that easy: making friends, letting go, grieving and being open for something new again. Now let's go back 4 years or so. I was living in Frankfurt at that time. Early in hte morning, God had called me out to take a walk with HIM outside- so I went. When I was talking to HIm and looking around I nearly stumbled over a wooden staff. I felt I needed to pick it up. I did and whenI stood there, looking over the little creek nearby my house standing on a little hill, God spoke to me and I saw a vision: Kerstin, you will be a shepherd of many! I saw me standing a this hill wiht the staff in my right hand....kid of leaning on it. I could see an ocean of people gatheredto listen to me or to be led by me or something like that. I kept that staff and this morning God reminded me again! Thank you dear God, thank you for your guidance and here is my heart in full obediance in fear but with confidence that YOU are the best I could give it to :)