Prayer request - I CAN GO TO FRANKFURT!!!!!

Dear friends and supporters, I included some of you in this email and hope that was OK. I would love for you to pray for me in this situation, please pray for HIS protection and wisdom, for the guidance of HIS Holy Spirit. Prayer to our Jesus is my lifeline. I thank you for your prayers and see you in the THRONE ROOM ;) This is a prayer request out of the normal. Let me explain the situation: I AM ABLE TO GO to Frankfurt for 2 1/2 weeks (roughly form the 1st of Oct. until the 18th of Oct.) I will..... - meet with the mission’s director of my foursquare church in Frankfurt and discuss how they can come alongside me financially in the future (they started to contact me 2 months ago and we have been emailing back and forth - they want to create and build a core team around me to support me with prayer, finance and fundraising- they want to be more involved which is such an answer to prayer - I have been praying for that during those past 3 years!) - be able to see and have quality time with my parents!!!!!!!!!! - and actually go and be part of my good friend Aris (The Greek)'s wedding The whole trip would cost me as an estimate of budget: 1400 $. The plane ticket will be about 900 $ and the rest is my budget for Germany which will be taken care of there. I do need to raise the money of the plane ticket in the short time between now and the next 3 to 4 weeks. ALREADY THINGS ARE LINING UP AND FALLING INTO PLACE IN THOSE LAST 2 DAYS. I CAN SEE GOD OPENING THIS DOOR. I am praying and trusting God since I really long to go and see my parents and work on a big picture strategy for my financial support coming from my German church in the future. I think it is possible and if God wants it to happen, I know HE will make a way. I have been praying for my German church to come alongside me and now this opportunity comes where I can actually have meetings and discussions with them face to face. Please consider and pray about maybe chipping in to those 900 $ - I can tell you that every amount of money could help. You can send a check to East Hill church (find details on the bottom of this email). Let me know what your thoughts are and thank you for reading this and praying about it. in HIm, Kerstin -- Kerstin Berthold, a long term Missionary for God in South Africa/Cape Town/Table View -"carrying God's message of restoration & healing to an aching world in need." Please send any support to: East Hill Church PO Box 650 Gresham, OR 97030 Checks made out to East Hill, memo line:Long Term Missions South Africa

It needs to be a party of LIFE - it is good to know where I am going

Ok this might be a weird post for some but somehow I thought about it the other night. It came to me and I liked it. Although I do not really think about it much. I had to think about how I would want my funeral or memorial service to be whenever God would call me home. First of all, I don't believe in cemeteries and graves. When I go, I will be with Jesus and the body I leave here will be dust and nothing more. It would cost so much to uphold a grave, to pay for the place and all. So I would want to be burned and my ashes to buried at a random beautiful place on a pasture under a tree, a willow maybe. Then I would want a time for friends and family to come together, not like a memorial service, not like a service at all, more like a party, a party of life. Everyone would get a balloon at the entrance, a colored balloon. A friend, a leader or pastor or family friend would share my heart in simple words:

"Kerstin is sorry to leave you but she is finally HOME, she wants to share her joy with you she also wanted you all to come to be there for each other, to hold each other up and pray for each other, to form new friendships right here right now. This is a time and place for something new to be born - a place where we say good-by but also where we welcome something and someone new!"

I know some of my favorite songs will be sung and joy will come through the tears of sorrow. I love life and I love Jesus, I love people and I want to share this joy even beyond the day that my DADDY will take me :)

May I introduce?

Working through things in life, I have come to know this specific person quite well. Most of the people would not see her as a person, but rather a thing, a system. I have come to understand that she actually is a person and she changes her gender when in a man. What am I talking about? WHo am I talking about? Let me introduce you to Mrs. L - Mrs. L is as old as I am. She has a specific mission in my life, a task so to speak. She is my bodyguard. She is there so I won't feel pain or fear. She helps me to survive. L stands for Limbic System. I blogged on it earlier. I have come to understand that she is a person, a person who wants to intervene so much :) Let me explain. When a situation does not feel "safe", she picks it up immediately and then she wants to jump to my rescue. When I was little and not able to resolve issues, I needed her to survive, to be ditracted from pain and fears. However, now that I am an adult, I don't need her like that anymore. I have had this converstation with her where I tell her that I don't need her in the same capacity anymore over and over again but she does not seem to listen. In a male person, she might be called Mr. L and Mr. L has the same task in life. Mrs. L is the one that acts up and I am learning how to coexist with her, how to calm her down, how to make her some herbal tea and let her relax in a nice hammock so I can deal with pain and fears in my life to actually resolve them. This is a slightly different look at the limbic system and how it stands in the way of true healing. - hope you had fun :) I am making some herbal tea now to give to Mrs. L and then I go on with my day. haha

More on dancing

I love dancing and I know that God is redeeming something in me while I dance. That is so special to know. As I said in my earlier post, dancing is more spiritual than we think. Dancing is part of God's healing plan for our lives.I am reading a book on dancing right now..and I go dancing twice every week. I am blessed and I learn a lot. In dancing a man becomes a man and a woman becomes a woman. Let me unpack that again. When the man starts to learn how to dance, he also learns hoe to lead and be assertive, how to be strong and confident. This is an important part a man needs to learn in life to be the man God created him to be. When a woman learns how to dance, she learns how to follow the man's lead, how to trust the one who holds her and guides her. She learns how to be confident and how to shine. This is part of what God has initially put into the sould of a woman. Isn't that beautiful?

5 cent :)

I need to share this. For quite some time now, I randomly find 5 cent coins on the floor. I always pick them up and pray that God will give me increase in finance. I pray God's favor over my finances, over everyone that is supporting me financially and I start thanking God. It never stops...just yesterday I found another 5 cent coin. :) Thank you my LORD

The survival brain

In the past weeks, I have been thinking about this a lot. It is not only because of the fact that I lead Genesis groups but also because of incidents I observe. I want to write about the survival brain or how the expert calls it: the limbic system. I first heard about the limbic system in my studies in my psychology class (1999). Then I did not pay too much attention. You know how it is when you study, you learn to remember for an exam..that's it. At least that's how it was for me. The next time I heard about the limbic system was in my training in the States (2005-2007). This time I started to be very curious.The limbic system of the brain is a group of structures which govern emotions and behavior. The limbic system, and in particular the hippocampus and amygdala, is involved in the formation of long-term memory, and is closely associated with the olfactory structures (having to do with the sense of smell). That part of the brain records memories, experiences and puts them into three different areas: food, sex and safety. In other words: "

The activities of the body that are governed are those concerned with self-preservation (e.g., searching for food and fighting) and preservation of the species (e.g., reproduction and the care of offspring), the expression of fear, rage, and pleasure, and the establishment of memory patterns

". It is also called the survival brain because it is there to help the brain survive, to help the brain be safe. So everything, every situation that makes this part of the brain act up is then an unsafe situation. It must also be noted that the limbic system is part of the unconsciousness of the brain. Let me give you a wonderful example of how the limbic system starts to act up and takes control.I have memories (that are stored or engraved in the limbic system) that someone talked to me in a very disrespectful way which hurt me. The limbic system records thte feeling of pain and immediately kicks in and takes over since this situation is "dangerous" and not safe. The way it kicks in is that I get really angry when a person is disrespectul to me today. I REACT, I don't respond. Responding means taking a step back, not taking it personal and communicating well. REACTING means eather getting angry, running away or freezing. Reacting is the result of a limbic response. I have seen lots of limbic responses lately and it made me think of this whole issue. When we are in LIMBIC MODE we are reacting, we are not in full control of our behaviour and we say or do things that we could regret later on. I am fascinated by how God created us WITH this lymbic system. He created a survival brain that helps the brain to survuve trauma when young. Yet when we are older and we still behave out of our survival brain, then somthing is not right. Here is a short quote out of Michael Dye's Genesis Process from page 30:

"The part of the brain that controls your survival memories and responses is called the limbic ssystem. It has a seperate memory form the consciou part of the brain. It records experiences that have to do with pleasure and reward, hurt and fear. These memories are very important to your ability to survice. The limbic system sets up emotional (and behavioral) responses to AVOID things that have caused you FEAR and PAIN and it repeats things that have to do with PLEASURE and REWARD. This system is important in understanding coping behaviours. When you do something that takes away stress (in order to feel normal), the limbic system can associate it with survival and it becoems part of the CRAVING, pleasure and reward ("do it again") system"

Isn't this amazing? It explains addiction to its core and it can give realization in order to find healing, in order to get rid of coping behaviors (such as: shopping, comfort eating, social drinking and smoking, sex addiction, getting lost in romance novels, numbing out in front of the tv etc...) I am amazed and I am eager to learn even more.

fav pics of my friends

Here are my favourite pictures of some of my friends that I miss. I would love to be a bigger part intheir lives but that would mean that I cannot do what God has put on my heart to do here in South Africa. I want to honor my friends today!

THE DANCE - a blessing and a healing part

Here we go. I can finally write this post after the recent events enfolded yesterday. I should start at the beginning. My dad used to be a dance teacher. He actually danced in national tournaments and later became a judge to be asked to judge big tournaments in ballroom and latin dancing in Germany. He would take me with him when he judged..so I always was around dancing. My dad was also the one who taught me my first dance:

an internation Rumba to Phil Collins' "Another Day in Paradise"

. Even before it was time for us late teens to join a dance studio in 9th grade, I was able to dance already quite a bit. My dad is my ultimate heron in this. I could dance any dance with him since he led so well. I only had to stay in rhythm and remember my basic steps: how awesome!! From early on it became my wish that my future husband would dance like my dad (grin)...or lead like him. A BLESSING PART: I have not been able to dance for over 10 years now. Lots of things took precedent in my life. However, this year God wanted to bless me, my heart and my inner desire in a special way: 4 weeks ago, one of my teens from church gave me a voucher for 2 free dance lessons. I felt like as if it were my birthday or Christmas. I counted down the hours until that very day and I loooved it. I was able to attend 2 social dance evenings.....and let me tell you...I never really sat down...I danced all the time and I loved it! I really wanted to attend that dance studio since I found really great people there as well. Nevertheless, my financial situation would not allow me to. I felt very sad but pressed on and prayed for God to make a way. Last night I received an email where dear friends and supporters from the States wanted to bless me with the finances for going dancing!!!! My heart started jumping, I can hardly put it into words. God has seen my heart and my heart's desire. Now I can go dancing!!!!!!!! A HEALING PART Now I want to tell you about the healing part dancing can be. God has been speaking to me about it for a looong time. There is more to this world than the things we see. There is a spiritual reality. Everything that happens in the natural effects the spiritual and everything that is birthed in the spiritual has a lasting effect on the natural. Where do I go with this? Stay with me and read on: The dance of a woman and a man is a very spiritual thing. It shows a natural order of things. Have you ever noticed that when a man leads well,he makes the woman shine? When a man leads well, the woman is very eager to follow his lead. In this way she can shine the most. Now lets take this as a metaphor for how God intended the relationship between a man and a woman to play out here on earth. If the man leads well, the woman is very happy to let him lead and follow his lead. IF a man does not lead, the woman needs to take over and if you look at such a couple when dancing...it does not look so wonderful. When the woman knows that the man takes care of her and knows where to go, she can trust him and follow his lead. When a man goes dancing God actually wants to heal the man's identity in being a leader, being the man but also being sensitive to the woman's needs. When a woman goes dancing, God actually wants to heal the femininity in her, the overflowing grace and the ability to trust the man. Now you hopefully see that THE DANCE has a blessing part but even more so a healing part!

I give glory to God who knows my heart and helps me to balance out my ministry life with a beautiful dance!!!

What a SMILE can do

Have you ever noticed what a SMILE can do to the countenance of a person? Place yourself in front of a mirror. Look at yourself and DON'T smile....then all of sudden give yourself a big SMILE. When you are out and about, observe the people around you. Check what a difference it does to a the appearance of a person when he/she smiles. What a SMILE can do!!! A SMILE can show the bring forth the inner beauty of us all. The radiance that is found within. This weekend, I was honored to be at a ballroom dance competition. Two teens of my Youth group were competing and did a great job (Go Kylie, go Lawrence!! As I sat there watching, I observed all the other people dancing as well. What a difference it made when I see a person smiling. Go and check it out :) Let's give each other a SMILE and see what it can do

Thankful

I am so thankful. Where do I start? Every morning when I drive to the office: the church here, I am speechless. It looks so good and I remember whenI came over 2 years ago. The building did nothave a roof, nor windows or doors and look at it now. I am thankful for my health, for getting up in the morning and feeling strength, for being able to go out of my house, for being able to drive around, for being able to sleep well uring the night. I am really thankful, grateful and humbled in the presence of my GOD.

4 1/2 weks sick

I am glad I am on the mend. After 4 1/2 weeks of being sick, on bedrest and so weak that I had to stay in my flat all the time...I am soo happy to see the world again. i am still pretty weak but it is much better. I am on vitamin b shots now for a month which is boosting my immune system. The thing that concerened me the most while i was down was that I had never seen and experienced my body to be like that. During this time, God really taught me about Faith and I learned and grew closer to my Creator,t he one and only God HImself. I did let Jesus build new pipelins of Faith for me where could only pray: I Believe but help my unbelief. More abot that at another time, sorry for not posting so often. I will try to update my blog more often

Creative Writing – What was on Malchus’ mind?

Who is Malchus? He is mentioned in the Bible only once in only one of the 4 Gospel accounts (John 18:10). I should take you back to the Garden of Gethsemane right after Jesus was done praying to His Father in his dark hour…the last free night before he got arrested and taken to the cross the following day. Judas, the one who betrayed Jesus came along with the Priest’s servants to arrest Jesus. As Judas betrayed Jesus handing him over, the guards/ Priest’s servants took hold of Jesus and tied him up. Then, Simon Peter jumped forward and cut off the ear of one of the servants with his sword. “The servant’s name was Malchus - His name is mentioned by neither of the other evangelists, nor is it said by the other evangelists who was the disciple that gave the blow. It is probable that both Peter and the servant were alive when the other gospels were writte” (E-Sword Comment on John 18:10). So here we go. I have been very intrigued by the character of Malchus. He actually is a minor character in the Passion of the Christ. After watching the Passion of the Christ by Mel Gibson, I focused more on the side characters in the events. Malchus, one of the Priest’s servants came alive for me especially last Thursday when I watched it last. Getting into the character: He must have been an important one of the guards since he was chosen to go and arrest Jesus in the evening hours of the day before Jesus was crucified. My thoughts started to go with the flow of this situation. Here is what could have been going on in Malchus’ mind during the scene in the garden of Gethsemane: “Here we go. We found this guy, this blasphemous man. I wonder if he is really guilty. He does not look like it.” This is when Judas came forth and kissed Jesus calling him – My Rabbi – which is an official title of honor (Mark 14:45). “Ok, now we know it’s him. Let’s just arrest him.” At this moment, Simon Peter jumped forth, ready to defend Jesus cutting Malchus’ right ear off. “Oh my……what just happened? Is this Galilean crazy? What is this excruciating pain? My right ear?????Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah?” As Malchus goes down in deep pain holding the right side of his head, Jesus reprimands his disciple, speaks and reaches out his hand, touching Malchus’ right side of his head and healing and restoring it completely (Luke 22:51). “What is happening? I cannot put this into words? My ear? My ear? My ear!” This moment is the moment that intrigues me the most. What must Malchus have felt, have thought? I bet there are no words, only appreciative silence and surprise, a gasp maybe and then…. Then Malchus could hear again, his right ear was back where it belonged. WOW. Malchus had a visitation from the Lord himself. He was healed and restored by Jesus in one little instant in the later hours of the day before Jesus’ crucifixion in the Garden of Gethsemane. I wonder how this must have felt. I have felt Jesus’ hand in healing myself but not in such a physical way. I am not here to draw attention to this healing. I want to draw attention to the encounter that Malchus had with the living Son of Man: Jesus Christ. He looked into Jesus’ eyes. I like the way Mel Gibson portrayed the scene. According to his movie, Malchus fell down on his knees suffering from the pain when Jesus got on his knees in front of Malchus and touched his right ear to heal it. In this second he looked deep into Malchus’ eyes. The moment freezes for me. It becomes eternity itself. A moment of deep healing and restoration. After that, Malchus stays on his knees deeply in awe watching the other guards taking Jesus away. He cannot move. He is amazed and touched. He had an encounter with Jesus. We all need an encounter with Jesus to understand that HE is real, He is true and He is the way to eternity! One encounter with HIM and we are never the same again. Malchus was not the same man after that night. That is what I am very sure about! The name Malchus means: My King - I wonder if Malchus thought that after his encounter witht he Living God??