MIRACLE

Not everyone knows this about me but I never made it a secret. I am learning more and more about it. Most of all, I learn how to live with it and yet contend for complete healing for I know that my God can do this. It is spoken of more and more in the last 20 years. It came to the surface in my life when I was 17 years old. It totally surprised me. I am talking about a light bi-polar disorder: episodes of depressions followed by manic episodes. I am amazed when I look at my life right now. I am amazed to see where I am. I never dared to dream to be able to live in a foreign country. But then God surprised me: He made a way for me to study a few months in Lausanne (Switzerland). I gave my life to Jesus there and started to develop a whole new view on life. He opened a door for me to go and pursue an internship and training in the States and He led me to South Africa where I am living right now. I never lacked any good thing, I always had my medication and I have always had awesome people alongside me who helped and help me to process situations, who help me in a practical way. I call this post : Miracles because suffering form this condition it is a miracle to do what I do and to have done what I did. I was ok in Germany. I had a great doctor who had known me for years and who had found the right dose of medication for me. When I left for the countries abroad, I put all my trust in God, asking HIM to lead me to the right doctors. And guess what! HE did. I had an amazing doctor in the States who knew very much about bipolar and was great. He was a Christian and after my appointment He would always pray for me if I asked. And God did it again here in South Africa. I was so afraid that they might not have my special medication. But yes they have. The doctor HE guided me to is amazing and really great. Let me tell you about a special Miracle: I started with St John’s Wart which did not really help me, then I went on to an anti-depressant..but for 2 or 3 years there was no real good reaction in me and the depressive and manic episodes for intense and really painful. Then my doctor asked me if I wanted to give Lithium a try. I was so desperate. I wanted quality of life back. I prayed that day and asked Jesus: “Lord, you are the beginning and the end of everything and I know you can use this medication for my healing. Please do, I am really tired of this….I need you Lord.” Then I took my fist dose of Lithium. I few hours later, I experienced something impossible and amazing. The dark clouds over my head started to vanish, hope filled the space instead. I called my doctor and thanked her and reported what was happening. She was surprised and said: That is impossible. The body only reacts to the medication after 2 weeks. I knew better. I praised my God. I knew HE showed me and HE heard my prayer. From there, we find the right dosage which balanced out a lot in my brain. Being a Christian, I am aware how the spiritual side of things is important to see in this as well. God helps me to balance myself all the time. HIS peace does wonders. Nonetheless, I am contending for complete healing. It is hard to feel myself or trust my judgment sometimes. All in all, I am grateful. I am thankful to God for this walking miracle that I am in this very regard.

“Thank you Almighty God! Thank you for being a faithful God and I know that you work all things for good for me because I love you with all my heart. You hear my cries, you see my tears and you catch those tears. I cast my cares into your arms and I trust you, PAPPA!”

Fathers Day

In Germany, Father's Day is always on Ascension Day(Christi Himmelfahrt). So, it is already over. But Fathers Day is coming this Sunday here in South Africa and I think also in the States. Last night as I watched one of my fav. series: CSI, I looked closer as the adverts were running: Buy your dad this for Fathers day, give him a gift card, buy him that..... I had to shake my head slowly. Fathers Day is something different for me, something other than buying something expensive for my dad. First of all, my dad is not close by, so that would be the first thing I think about. Here is what I think Fathers Day is all about. If you still have a dad or someone that fulfilled the role of a dad in your life or a spiritual dad, then invest in that relationship. It is all about relationship. Write him a letter and tell him how he has blessed you or what you like about him. Words do more than a hundred gift cards or chocolates. Here is what I think about when it comes to my dad: My dad is a very courageous man. He had to go through a lot in life and he is standing tall now. My dad taught me how to dance when I was 10. He would make me feel safe all the time. He believes in me and has shown me real love. One thing that I love these days about my dad is how he sends me letters with love for such detail packed with newspaper articles and sweets. I know he cares deeply and I am thankful for that.

More on dancing

I love dancing and I know that God is redeeming something in me while I dance. That is so special to know. As I said in my earlier post, dancing is more spiritual than we think. Dancing is part of God's healing plan for our lives.I am reading a book on dancing right now..and I go dancing twice every week. I am blessed and I learn a lot. In dancing a man becomes a man and a woman becomes a woman. Let me unpack that again. When the man starts to learn how to dance, he also learns hoe to lead and be assertive, how to be strong and confident. This is an important part a man needs to learn in life to be the man God created him to be. When a woman learns how to dance, she learns how to follow the man's lead, how to trust the one who holds her and guides her. She learns how to be confident and how to shine. This is part of what God has initially put into the sould of a woman. Isn't that beautiful?

5 cent :)

I need to share this. For quite some time now, I randomly find 5 cent coins on the floor. I always pick them up and pray that God will give me increase in finance. I pray God's favor over my finances, over everyone that is supporting me financially and I start thanking God. It never stops...just yesterday I found another 5 cent coin. :) Thank you my LORD

fav pics of my friends

Here are my favourite pictures of some of my friends that I miss. I would love to be a bigger part intheir lives but that would mean that I cannot do what God has put on my heart to do here in South Africa. I want to honor my friends today!

THE DANCE - a blessing and a healing part

Here we go. I can finally write this post after the recent events enfolded yesterday. I should start at the beginning. My dad used to be a dance teacher. He actually danced in national tournaments and later became a judge to be asked to judge big tournaments in ballroom and latin dancing in Germany. He would take me with him when he judged..so I always was around dancing. My dad was also the one who taught me my first dance:

an internation Rumba to Phil Collins' "Another Day in Paradise"

. Even before it was time for us late teens to join a dance studio in 9th grade, I was able to dance already quite a bit. My dad is my ultimate heron in this. I could dance any dance with him since he led so well. I only had to stay in rhythm and remember my basic steps: how awesome!! From early on it became my wish that my future husband would dance like my dad (grin)...or lead like him. A BLESSING PART: I have not been able to dance for over 10 years now. Lots of things took precedent in my life. However, this year God wanted to bless me, my heart and my inner desire in a special way: 4 weeks ago, one of my teens from church gave me a voucher for 2 free dance lessons. I felt like as if it were my birthday or Christmas. I counted down the hours until that very day and I loooved it. I was able to attend 2 social dance evenings.....and let me tell you...I never really sat down...I danced all the time and I loved it! I really wanted to attend that dance studio since I found really great people there as well. Nevertheless, my financial situation would not allow me to. I felt very sad but pressed on and prayed for God to make a way. Last night I received an email where dear friends and supporters from the States wanted to bless me with the finances for going dancing!!!! My heart started jumping, I can hardly put it into words. God has seen my heart and my heart's desire. Now I can go dancing!!!!!!!! A HEALING PART Now I want to tell you about the healing part dancing can be. God has been speaking to me about it for a looong time. There is more to this world than the things we see. There is a spiritual reality. Everything that happens in the natural effects the spiritual and everything that is birthed in the spiritual has a lasting effect on the natural. Where do I go with this? Stay with me and read on: The dance of a woman and a man is a very spiritual thing. It shows a natural order of things. Have you ever noticed that when a man leads well,he makes the woman shine? When a man leads well, the woman is very eager to follow his lead. In this way she can shine the most. Now lets take this as a metaphor for how God intended the relationship between a man and a woman to play out here on earth. If the man leads well, the woman is very happy to let him lead and follow his lead. IF a man does not lead, the woman needs to take over and if you look at such a couple when dancing...it does not look so wonderful. When the woman knows that the man takes care of her and knows where to go, she can trust him and follow his lead. When a man goes dancing God actually wants to heal the man's identity in being a leader, being the man but also being sensitive to the woman's needs. When a woman goes dancing, God actually wants to heal the femininity in her, the overflowing grace and the ability to trust the man. Now you hopefully see that THE DANCE has a blessing part but even more so a healing part!

I give glory to God who knows my heart and helps me to balance out my ministry life with a beautiful dance!!!

What a SMILE can do

Have you ever noticed what a SMILE can do to the countenance of a person? Place yourself in front of a mirror. Look at yourself and DON'T smile....then all of sudden give yourself a big SMILE. When you are out and about, observe the people around you. Check what a difference it does to a the appearance of a person when he/she smiles. What a SMILE can do!!! A SMILE can show the bring forth the inner beauty of us all. The radiance that is found within. This weekend, I was honored to be at a ballroom dance competition. Two teens of my Youth group were competing and did a great job (Go Kylie, go Lawrence!! As I sat there watching, I observed all the other people dancing as well. What a difference it made when I see a person smiling. Go and check it out :) Let's give each other a SMILE and see what it can do

Becki Rusk

This post if about Becki Rusk. I met her nearly 2 years ago here in CapeTown. She came with her husband John to have COastlands Community Church to be their base and home church for when I travel. They are missionaries. I really like Becki and even now that she sngs with the angels int throneroom and is with Jesus, I cannot stop thining about her. She went to be with Jesus after 8 months of ling cancer. I enjoyed her so much while she was here. She was a real servant - someone who listened very well. Whenever I see lavenar bushes I think back of her andhow she would stop and smell them before wlking on. I love her laughter and her smiles. She really ad a gentle soul. When I drive arond here in Table View,there are so many little memories that pop up daily. I never saw her upset. When we had a small gorup that met every friday at 5:30am and I was not able to get my car, Becki would come and pick me up, take the extra time - it blessed me tremendously. She always had this peace about her, she was centered in Jesus and I could see it, feel it , even smell it. One day I met with her at the mall. It was shortly after Johnand her had moved here, found a place to stay. Becki told me that day tha she had always loved working out and walking but that there was not really a good possibility to do that here. Then she thought of walking around the mall for an hour with me....we walked and talked during that time, sahred hearts...and hse got her workout!! Whenever I am in the gym right now, I think of her. THen our outing to Paternoster: It was an outreach and Becki wanted to go so bad. She was already in pain during that time but did not know about the cancer. She drove and we took 2 of the YOuth and Zaks with us. It was an awesome experience that I will never forget. I guess I cosnider myself very blessd to have spent time with her. I miss her and my heart and prayers go out to John, her mom Novella and her dad Ralph and to all the family. Gone too soon..... but then God must have really wanted her with HIM....

My Personal Trainer

I’ve been going to the gym now for 4 weeks and I actually love it every time. I even have my personal trainer. How? – You might ask. A personal trainer is very expensive! I don’t pay a cent for my personal trainer. Let me explain. As I go and train, it is a still quiet voice that spears me on: “Come on, Kerstin, you can do 5 more. Kerstin, you can do it, I KNOW you can!” It is a voice that challenges me to go further and to succeed. This encouraging voice belongs to my Lord, to the same Lord that actually got me into this gym. I am not only going to gym, but I am in the gym of my life and training the muscles of faith, of trust, of patience, of persistence. My personal trainer is teaching me discipline right now and I am so thankful for that. I cannot even begin to put into words how thankful I am for my Personal Trainer. He has many different names, yet HE is ONE.

DOT

This is a little story about my new friend: a pigeon  Yes, a Pigeon! A week ago, while I was reading a book in the late afternoon, a bird smashed against the windows of my sliding door in the lounge. I got up and looked down in my neighbor’s garden (quite concerned). There she was (yes, I decided it is a SHE), the Pigeon. She was sitting on the grass….and seemed quite anxious and confused. I began speaking to her (yes again, I do speak to animals…..my neighbor calls me Dr. Dolittle hehe). Then I went back to reading my book. 5 minutes later, the Pigeon flew up to my balcony and sat down..making herself comfortable. She observed me as I started to blink my eyes and after a short while she did the same. It was soooo cute. She stayed a few more hours that evening before she left. Next morning as I went into the lounge to have breakfast there she sat, totally at ease watching me. I thought that was rather cool . She watched me have breakfast and reading my Bible. Then I laid down on my couch and did the blinking game again with her. I felt connected but not just to a little Pigeon…more so to her Creator, to God and I was thankful for such a sweet company! I named this sweet Pigeon DOT :)

My 2little Princes

I need to tell you about my neighbors. I do have quite a few lining in this complex but I am extremely blessed by the ones living to my left. There are two little boys called Michael and Dexter. They are my little Princes. I love spending time with them outside watching them crawl and recently walk. I call them sweetie crawlies. They love to explore and when they smile….my world is alright, when they cry, my heart cries, too…when I can hold them, I am blessed. Here are some pics of my sweetie crawlies, my little Princes Michael and Dexter!!!!

subsequent entry on THE VISITORS

Since last tuesday, Fat Cat and Prrt alias Leo come to me every day. When they see me coming in my car, they run towards me, then they welcome me with a purring meaw and follow me up the stairs. They love my couch and my bed to take their naps and they led me to their owner Wendy, one of the neighbors in my new complex of apartments. I don't believe that things happen 'by accident'!!!! So here are some pics of Fat Cat and Prrt while they are roaming around my apartment, while they rest. They really adopted me!!!!! They even love to chill underneath my car on a nice sunny day :)

A surprise but very welcome visit today

Today as I opened my door after a nice breakfast and good reading and time with God, I saw two cats roaming around in the complex. I like them and always stop to pet them and let them come to me. Now as I was seeing them I make a “cattish” noise and they come. They follow me to my apartment. Surprising to me, they walk inside: “Welcome to my abode..!” Both start sniffing around and I sat down to observe..I love to watch animals. As I am typing this, one of them is still with me (2 ½ hours later), relaxing on my couch. So they sniff around and start purring. I pet them and enjoy their presence thanking God for this surprise and welcome visit. Both find their favorite spot on my couch after checking out my bedroom and the kitchen counter and the sink – grin. I need to go and post some postcards but I don’t want to leave to be honest. It is a nice sunny day, so my door is open and the birds are singing. I am thankful for this moment. I embrace it and I cherish it in my heart.

favor

I am back in Cape Town and on the mission to relax and find rest. I am able to do so in a very nice guest house I was booked in because I have not found an appartment yet. That guest room (roomS) is amazing, really great and I will take the most of it. I am experiencing the Lord's favor in many ways. I had a good reentry back here. My car started after 7 weeks of no movement without a problem. I am proud of Snowflake, ma own car. I missed it. On my flight from Frankfurt to Johannesburg, I got Champaign and a rose as the winner of the day (I was challenged to guess the volume of liters put into those waggons the flight attendands have to push).

Carrying that rose, everone smiled at me, so I had no problems at customs or anything. I take it slow

Germany09

Here are some impressions from my time in Germany! Enjoy!!!