MIRACLE

Not everyone knows this about me but I never made it a secret. I am learning more and more about it. Most of all, I learn how to live with it and yet contend for complete healing for I know that my God can do this. It is spoken of more and more in the last 20 years. It came to the surface in my life when I was 17 years old. It totally surprised me. I am talking about a light bi-polar disorder: episodes of depressions followed by manic episodes. I am amazed when I look at my life right now. I am amazed to see where I am. I never dared to dream to be able to live in a foreign country. But then God surprised me: He made a way for me to study a few months in Lausanne (Switzerland). I gave my life to Jesus there and started to develop a whole new view on life. He opened a door for me to go and pursue an internship and training in the States and He led me to South Africa where I am living right now. I never lacked any good thing, I always had my medication and I have always had awesome people alongside me who helped and help me to process situations, who help me in a practical way. I call this post : Miracles because suffering form this condition it is a miracle to do what I do and to have done what I did. I was ok in Germany. I had a great doctor who had known me for years and who had found the right dose of medication for me. When I left for the countries abroad, I put all my trust in God, asking HIM to lead me to the right doctors. And guess what! HE did. I had an amazing doctor in the States who knew very much about bipolar and was great. He was a Christian and after my appointment He would always pray for me if I asked. And God did it again here in South Africa. I was so afraid that they might not have my special medication. But yes they have. The doctor HE guided me to is amazing and really great. Let me tell you about a special Miracle: I started with St John’s Wart which did not really help me, then I went on to an anti-depressant..but for 2 or 3 years there was no real good reaction in me and the depressive and manic episodes for intense and really painful. Then my doctor asked me if I wanted to give Lithium a try. I was so desperate. I wanted quality of life back. I prayed that day and asked Jesus: “Lord, you are the beginning and the end of everything and I know you can use this medication for my healing. Please do, I am really tired of this….I need you Lord.” Then I took my fist dose of Lithium. I few hours later, I experienced something impossible and amazing. The dark clouds over my head started to vanish, hope filled the space instead. I called my doctor and thanked her and reported what was happening. She was surprised and said: That is impossible. The body only reacts to the medication after 2 weeks. I knew better. I praised my God. I knew HE showed me and HE heard my prayer. From there, we find the right dosage which balanced out a lot in my brain. Being a Christian, I am aware how the spiritual side of things is important to see in this as well. God helps me to balance myself all the time. HIS peace does wonders. Nonetheless, I am contending for complete healing. It is hard to feel myself or trust my judgment sometimes. All in all, I am grateful. I am thankful to God for this walking miracle that I am in this very regard.

“Thank you Almighty God! Thank you for being a faithful God and I know that you work all things for good for me because I love you with all my heart. You hear my cries, you see my tears and you catch those tears. I cast my cares into your arms and I trust you, PAPPA!”

fav pics of my friends

Here are my favourite pictures of some of my friends that I miss. I would love to be a bigger part intheir lives but that would mean that I cannot do what God has put on my heart to do here in South Africa. I want to honor my friends today!

What a SMILE can do

Have you ever noticed what a SMILE can do to the countenance of a person? Place yourself in front of a mirror. Look at yourself and DON'T smile....then all of sudden give yourself a big SMILE. When you are out and about, observe the people around you. Check what a difference it does to a the appearance of a person when he/she smiles. What a SMILE can do!!! A SMILE can show the bring forth the inner beauty of us all. The radiance that is found within. This weekend, I was honored to be at a ballroom dance competition. Two teens of my Youth group were competing and did a great job (Go Kylie, go Lawrence!! As I sat there watching, I observed all the other people dancing as well. What a difference it made when I see a person smiling. Go and check it out :) Let's give each other a SMILE and see what it can do

Becki Rusk

This post if about Becki Rusk. I met her nearly 2 years ago here in CapeTown. She came with her husband John to have COastlands Community Church to be their base and home church for when I travel. They are missionaries. I really like Becki and even now that she sngs with the angels int throneroom and is with Jesus, I cannot stop thining about her. She went to be with Jesus after 8 months of ling cancer. I enjoyed her so much while she was here. She was a real servant - someone who listened very well. Whenever I see lavenar bushes I think back of her andhow she would stop and smell them before wlking on. I love her laughter and her smiles. She really ad a gentle soul. When I drive arond here in Table View,there are so many little memories that pop up daily. I never saw her upset. When we had a small gorup that met every friday at 5:30am and I was not able to get my car, Becki would come and pick me up, take the extra time - it blessed me tremendously. She always had this peace about her, she was centered in Jesus and I could see it, feel it , even smell it. One day I met with her at the mall. It was shortly after Johnand her had moved here, found a place to stay. Becki told me that day tha she had always loved working out and walking but that there was not really a good possibility to do that here. Then she thought of walking around the mall for an hour with me....we walked and talked during that time, sahred hearts...and hse got her workout!! Whenever I am in the gym right now, I think of her. THen our outing to Paternoster: It was an outreach and Becki wanted to go so bad. She was already in pain during that time but did not know about the cancer. She drove and we took 2 of the YOuth and Zaks with us. It was an awesome experience that I will never forget. I guess I cosnider myself very blessd to have spent time with her. I miss her and my heart and prayers go out to John, her mom Novella and her dad Ralph and to all the family. Gone too soon..... but then God must have really wanted her with HIM....

DOT

This is a little story about my new friend: a pigeon  Yes, a Pigeon! A week ago, while I was reading a book in the late afternoon, a bird smashed against the windows of my sliding door in the lounge. I got up and looked down in my neighbor’s garden (quite concerned). There she was (yes, I decided it is a SHE), the Pigeon. She was sitting on the grass….and seemed quite anxious and confused. I began speaking to her (yes again, I do speak to animals…..my neighbor calls me Dr. Dolittle hehe). Then I went back to reading my book. 5 minutes later, the Pigeon flew up to my balcony and sat down..making herself comfortable. She observed me as I started to blink my eyes and after a short while she did the same. It was soooo cute. She stayed a few more hours that evening before she left. Next morning as I went into the lounge to have breakfast there she sat, totally at ease watching me. I thought that was rather cool . She watched me have breakfast and reading my Bible. Then I laid down on my couch and did the blinking game again with her. I felt connected but not just to a little Pigeon…more so to her Creator, to God and I was thankful for such a sweet company! I named this sweet Pigeon DOT :)

JohnBeckiCHALLENGE

Dear you, please take a few minutes and check out two videos that John and Becki Rusk (I blogged on them and their challenge in my last blog post) downloaded. One is about them explaining what is going on right now and one video is stunning as it shows a Buffalo herd and a little Buffalo being attacked. Watch and stand in awe! go here.

OUTREACH

It was outreach time last saturday! Zakhele and I were asked to bring our Youth. What a priviledge!! The outreach was a day for little kids in Paternoster, a fisher town 1 1/2 hours north from Cape Town. After some activities and a lunch the kids would be given LOVE BOXES (like shoe boxes filled with goodies). Because of the fact that we have exam time right now, only ow of our Youth were able to join: Sheldon and Mario, our youngest ones. I had been in total anticipation and in prayer for us to be God's hands extended there. As we arrived, the event started soon and Mario helped me painting the little one's faces. He did a great job and had a lot of fun. Sheldon was our camera man. He took picks and helped us. Both of them used their gifts. Later we had make sure that the kids sitting at 20 different tables would behave and listen to the program provided. Sheldon and Mario (both 12!!!!) did a great job in that as well.I was blessed watching them. During Lunch Time our Youth had been asked to entertain the kids. Sheldon and Mario were really nervous but they were a great part of a Pantomime that we showed. We also learned I love Jesus in Afrikaans and I taught the kids how to say I love Jesus in German. It was fun. Then came the highlight of the day, the giving out of the love boxes. Let me tell you something: Those boxes were packed with love and care and they came from....GERMANY!!! That was such a blessing and honor for me then to give each kid a love box and then to watch them open them. Look at the pictures. At the end of the day, the 5 of us coming from Coastlands Community CHurch (Becki Rusk, Zakhele, Sheldon, Maro and myself) were a blessing and were blessed as well. That's how God does things :) so great so great!

McGyver

McGyver Do you remember the series on TV in the 80is called “McGyver”? He was the one who could fix everything with the coolest tools. He was cool and he always had new ideas. If someone always knows how to fix things in new ways…I say this one can “mcgyver” things pretty well! I say, this one is a true McGyver. Can you follow me? I know a true McGyver. It is a Madame McGyver and I call her that a lot and we both grin. I want to introduce you to Madame McGyver, to my Madame McGyver: Her name is Granny Jenny and I live and stay here with her. She is a true Madame McGyver. She knows how to make a door UNsqueek, she knows how to get a stain of heavy paint out of my pants even after that one had been washed 3 times in the machine! She comes and just “mcgyvers” it!! I really loved watching that series on TV in the 80ies. And I love calling Granny Jenny Madame McGyver. Do you know a true “McGyver” in your life? I mean the ultimate McGyver is Jesus, the one who restores, the one who saves, the one who who knows it all very wel……yeah I guess that is HIM then, hugh? This post is for Granny Jenny and even more this post goes to my one and only real Mr. McGyver, my Savior, the one who saves my day, the one who heals my broken soul and helps me to see the world from different angles!!

newDAY

So this was my 6th day, it is night now and the wind is blowing. I can tell I am close to the sea. This sea air makes me tired a lot actually. I am thankful to be here and now I am embracing something new as well: loneliness. It does not feel nice but I know that it is part of adjusting to this place and to my new way of living. I am closer to Jesus and I know I need HIM so much. I'd just love to be surrounded by friends now or even by one or two and share my heart. Instead I will go to my room, snuggle iwth my teddy bear and pray, share it all with my heavenly Father. That is good as well. I went to the beach today, I watched the waves break and smelled the sea. I let the sun carress my skin and let the wind play with my hair. I bless the LOrd for all this, Blessed is HIS name

I have the visa!!! I am holding it in my hands right now...still surprised and in awe...all that sweat...all that worry- Oh man! I am thankful and now preparing even more ...24 days to go! Kerstin Sunshine

I AM YOURS dear Lord of mine!

I've just listened to a powerful song I totally forgot about. I listened to it 2 or 3 years ago when I was in the States and nearly had a nervous breakdown from too much. My pastor told me to listen to the songs of Misty Edward and to paint hidden away from everthing and everyone. I did. It was hard at first to be alone with God wihtout any other person BUT God knows I needed it badly. I painted and sank away in the Lord's presence and I listened to one song in particular- it is called: I AM YOURS by Misty Edwars. It is beautiful and strong...just touched my heart so much again and pulled me before the throne in such a good and healing way. Tears are wonderful and healing tears are the best. I want to share this song with you,here are the lyrics:

Though I sleep, My heart is awake Though it's night, on You I wait (Repeat) It's been a long night, And I am weary It's been a long time, And I am hungry So I'll wait in the stillness again I'll wait in the quiet again When I heard Your voice When You said my name When I heard Your voice My heart it yearned (Repeat) In the middle of the night In the middle of the night In the middle of the night My heart it yearns (Repeat) Though You're far away, Still I'm here to say I am Yours, I am Yours And when You feel so far away, Still I am here to say: I am Yours, I am Yours (Repeat x 3 set) And I pay my vows, No turning around I'm burn the bridges that can't be found (Repeat) For when I heard Your voice And You said my name When I heard Your voice My heart it yearned… For You…