God's encouragement! Thank you dear LORD

Tonight I was at a Youth group and we had worship. I helped out. After the 3rd song, my heart ached more and more for God to touch me and fill me. I have been feeling so unworthy and filthy, so bad during the past days. I felt unworhty of my calling and could not udnerstand why God had chosen me. After that 3rd song God gave me a picture:

I could see with my inner eye that God poured out clear fresh water into my open hands. He said: "Wash yousrelf!" I washed my face and felt the refreshment. At the same time I could see God's approval of me in whatever circumstance.

THANK YOU DEAR LORD!! THANK YOU THAT YOU ALONE CAN MAKE ME WORTHY!!!!

learning HIS ways.....

Learning HIS ways is not easy but it is rewarding in the end. Learning HIS ways is challenging to the highest degree. Learning HIS ways is a priviledge for the children of God. Learning HIS ways is painful but it seems that I only learn through a certain amount of pain. My head is turning from right to left for I do not understand this. I do not want to go through pain. Yet, I seem to choose so every once in a while. Learning HIS ways is a journey, a process and I am yet to learn how to receive this simple truth...to accept it and to walk with it!! The other day I went swimming. I love swimming but have not swum for over 3 years. This week I went to swim and dive and do some sport. Everything I do has a certain spiritual meaning to me and a lot of times God talks to me while I am doing this or that. Well, swimming has a special spiritual meaning for me: It is cleansing, refreshing and calming in a way. The most calming thing is when I dive and am under water for a while..........then........I look around.....I do not hear anything ....but I see the light that breaks itself and penetrates the water....all is silent......all is like in slow motion. It is there and then my soul finds rest from the business of the day and it is there that I feel I can take on the next thing God wants to teach me...it is there that I can sense HIS hope in me. It is weird that Paul is right when He says that God's strength is made perfect in our weakness.......it is so weird for I want to be strong and yet I observe Jesus how HE uses me in my complete and sheer weakness, in my deepest moments. I am glad that my JEsus loves me and knows me and I give HIM my heart.

JESUS, humbled I come to you and say: HERE I AM USE ME, use me as I am, frail and a sinner. USE me to glorify you Lord Jesus! Amen

A hole in a leaf

I have seen this so many times now and I want to share with you what God showed me a few years ago. I was reminded of that very fact several times in the past few fall days ... I am talking about special leaves...I love leaves and anyone who knows my testimony and how I became a Christian knows that even more:) These special leaves have holes...they are not like normal leaves, they seem to be done with life so to speak. Well, one day a few years ago...3 years ago to be exact, I was on a walk with Jesus. I felt really down and empty and I told Jesus all I my feelings. As I was walking along a beautiful path in the forest, I saw such a leaf. I tought: oh that leaf is not good anymore. BUT then I looked closer and saw a tiny spider web inside: all of a sudden God spoke to me:

Look, Kerstin, this leaf seems to be done with life and without a purpose but I gave it a new purpose. This whole is there to give this spider some space to create a beautiful webt. YOu have a purpose although you feel down and empty, ...but I gave you a purpose just as I gave this leaf a purpose.

WOW!!! So now ..... within the past few days, I saw those kind of leaves again...leaves with a hole inside and I was reminded of that spiderweb. God has a plan , God has a purpose and I needed this reminder in this season of my life so much......thank YOU dear heavenly Father!! YOu are the best!!!

FREIHEIT! FREEDOM!!

I thought I write a little and proclaim FREEDOM in my life. I will attach a picture to this post that totally shows what my heart is longing for. Freedom from chains of performance that seem to bind me. At least I am fighting that a lot. I will concentrate on FREIHEIT right now: that day I was on a walk with my mom and I showed her where I would walk and spend time outside during the week. She loved it. Then we passed by a little playground and I saw the slide, the red slide. I gave my camera to my mom , told her to take a picture of me and then I ran up there to slide down and scream like a little girl. I did this 3 times and had such fun. My mom was laughing out loud and we both had fun. I need this freedom again. I feel I seem to have lost it somehwere on the way. FREIHEIT

OH Lord, cover me and free me from that performance-driven crap inside my head. Help me to BE with you and help me to receive from you, help me to be mroe Kerstin Sunshine who has been set free 7 years and 9 months ago...and a few days. Lord I need you for I want to do waht you ask me to. My heart is for you Jesus, Your Princess Bride Kerstin

1600 $ per month.....can you think about 20 $ per month?

This is a short blog entry about my fundraising situation. First of all I am so thankful for all of you who pray for me these days and who pray for the ministry God has for me!!!!!!! On a side note, I am still believing for a sum of 1600 $ to come in every month. That amount is the minimum amount which I need to show the consulate that it is coming in.

So I am asking you now to consider prayerfully if you can think about committing to give 20$ or 25$ or 39$ a month to East HIll Church to the account: Long Term Missions South Africa to support my ministry there.

I already have 300$ worth of monthly support and am believing now for 1300$ more, which means 65 people who can commit for 20$ per month, or 43 people comitting 30$ per month. Please pray and ask God if HE leads you to support me in this way for a year. I know that this is the Lord's ministry anyway. I thank you for praying about it. I thank you for your prayers in all this. YOu find all the donation information on the left side of this blog. Questions? let me know and email me: newborntigger@yahoo.com sincerely, Kerstin

Movie RATATOUILLE for 3 people only 3 EURO

It all began at 5pm when my parents and I embarked on our journey to the near movie theatre to see RATATOUILLE the DIsney movie with the little rat that can cook. As we arrived we saw all those people wanting to have tickets. Oh my...... My dad and my mom knew one of the employees and started talking with him. All of a sudden he waved us through the crowd and gave us 3 tickets..the last ones for that show....we did not have to pay one cent!!!! WOW, my dad was proud and I congratulated him and thanked God or an unforgettable evening with my parents. So we got to see that beautiful movie without paying at all. 3 Euro was our parking ticket..taht is all. NOw we are back at home and my parents loved the movie and I was blessed to watch God bless us!!! Thank you Jesus!!!!

Tag der Deutschen Einheit: The day of unity in Germany

Hello! TOday is a great day for Germany. It is our own national holiday. We celebrate the fall of the wall and a united Germany, east and west, west and east. Unity is so important. Paul already talked about it in the bible. Unity in the body of Christ, unity and forgiveness. Unity is so important and I can sense it in my own life. I am celebrating my coutnry today and that God is present in this country, that God is doing some mighty work here! I am proud to be a German, proud for all that God has given to us Germnans. I wish for all of us Germans that we can be proud and not fearful of that fact that being proud could lead to teh pride of destruction and dictatorship again. I remember where I was when I watched tv and saw the news about the fall of hte wall. Then, it was surreal and I was not that old. I did not really get it. But later, I was happy. It is not easy, it was not easy but as our pastor said this last sunday: Unity always comes with a prize. I want unity, unity in my relationships, unity in the churches, unity in families. Only Jesus can help me achieve this wish of my heart. Only He can. But with HIm there comes division as well...read on...don't get me wrong: Jesus tells his disciples in Luke 12 that He comes with a holy fire and that pretty much people either believe in HIm or hate HIM. This is what I mean with division. Jesus comes with the sword of the Spirit which divides clearly. YOu can see that in so many ways: veryone can talk about God these days...A GOD..but as soon as I talk about Jesus, people divide into 2 groups ...maybe 3: one says: Yes Jesus is my Savior, the other one says: I do not believe in Jesus and that is all humbug and the third does not care at all: everyone will be blessed with whatever they believe. I am one of the 1st group I mentioned and today I pray that Jesus blesses my country: Germany:

Dear Lord, I ams o thankful that I am a German and I am thankful to know you, I pray for this country to hear you and see you, I pray fogive us our sins and let us forgive others who sinned against us. I pray help us to receive your goodness and help us not to criticize but believe in YOU I pray bless us and hold us, yoru German Bride Kerstin

Wuerdig das Lamm das geopfter ist wuerdig das Lamm zu nehmen wuerdig das Lamm das geopfert ist, wuerdig das Lamm zu nhemen Kraft und Reichtum, Weisheit und Staeke Ehre und Ruhm und LObpreis (that is a wonderful German Hymn to praise Jesus the lamb of God,taken out of Revelation 4 and 5)

A change, a relief and a challenge!

So here I am and I have news...big news..news that totally confirmed my sense but news that I still need to process as well. I am going to stay for 2 more months in Germany. I will fly out in the second week of january to go to the country and city God has calle dme to : South Afrcia / Cape Town. I had been sensing such a peace over the fact that God will do what He needs to do and if it took longer for me to go to Aouth Africa then God is Soveriena dn He has plans I do not know of. Well last night I talked with the pastor from Cape Town and throughout our conversation it got clearere and clearer that we would not be able to get all the documents for the 4th of November which is in one month and 2 days. The month of december is a low month there..epopel are on vacation..it is like our month of july. Hence, there is not a lotof activity in the church. This means taht I could use that time better to stay here and raise support and maybe work if that is the case. We talked about where I could stay and about how things are going. I felt such a peace about the whole january idea that we both decided to stay with that plan. I have time to organize my support better, to werite letters and speak and be with my family over Christmas. I also sense that the latter is a very important thing in my recent relationhip with them. All in all this is the best and I trust God because He has the perfect timing! I do not want to rush, I want to trust HIM and risk to live a life worth living!!!!! Emotionally, I am processing this big change right now. I woke up last night and was awake for an hour trying to grasp the whole thing. Good that Jesus has all in HIS hands. I need that. I feel like that little lamb very close to Jesus' heart. Glory be to God in the Highest

Proud to be a German!!! Congratulations Ladies!!!

Yesterday was a big day in our history. OUr German golden ladies won the world cup in soccer. They were phenominal and scored 2 goals against Brazil in the final in China. Tonight, all of Frankfurt was on its feet to welcome our team, or golden team back at the Roemer Berg at the heart of Frankfurt! Congratuilations ladies! Your play is always fair and of excellent quality!!! I am proud to be a German

A "Lybelle" on the right foundation

LOOK AT THE TITLE OF THIS NEW POST OF MINE. 'LYBELLE' IS THE GERMAN WORD FOR DRAGONFLY AND I LOVE THIS WORD. I GOT THE WORD A FEW MONTHS AGO TAHT GOD SEE ME AS A LYBELLE. I AM SHINING AND GOD'S GRACE AND LOVE IS REFLECTED THROUGH MY WINGS. IN ONE OF THE GROUPS THAT I WAS A TEACHER IN TRAINING IN THE STATES, MY GROUP GAVE ME THIS 'LYBELLE' AS A GIFT BEFORE I LEFT. I KNOW THAT GOD IS SPEAKING TO ME THROUGHT HIS PICTURE. LAST WEEK I SPOKE TO A SMALL GROUP OF YOUNG LADIES AND I BROUGTH MY 'LYBELL' WITH ME TO DEMOSNTRATE SOMETHING. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TEACHING I ASKED IF I COULD BORROW A LADY'S BIBLE (THANK YOU BETTINA) AND PUT THE 'LYBELLE' DIRECTLY ON TOP OF THE BIBLE. WHAT DOES THIS SAY? TO ME IT SAYS THAT I NEED THE FOUNDATION OF HIS WORD, THE FOUNDATION OF THE TRUTH. I AM SUCH A 'LYBELLE' IN THE LORD'S SIGHT AND I NEED TO POSTION MYSELF ON HIS WORD. Today was an itnersting and frustrating day. I was able to sell more things on ebay and had to organize the selling part and packing part of things. After that I had a really good meeting with a woman in need of healing and restoration. We had a good talk and I sensed that that was again one the divine appointmetns God had sent me to go to and I was glad that I listened. As I came back I called to South Africa. I was totally sure that the time difference from Frankfurt to Cape Town was one hour. As I called, I learned that that was not true. It is the same time. I was frustrated becasue it has been several times like this that I was not able to get through tp SOuth Africa. I let it go and know God is sovereign. oh my oh my... MY LIFE IS IN YOU LORD MY STRENGTH IS INN YOU LORD MY ALL IS IN YOU TAKE OVER LORD TAKE OVER I DO NOT WANT TO DRIVE MY CAR ANYMORE LEAD ME, TAKE CONTROL WHERE I TRIED TO TAKE IT GO AHEAD JESUS AND USE ME, LEAD ME, FILL ME, AND HEAL ME!!!!!!!!