Close to 2008 - THANKFUL??

Days go by this fast ..especially when I rest and relax as I have been doing in the past days of blessing and Christmas. I've had a really blessed time with my family and a wonderful time at church. Close to Jesus, close to HIS heartbeat..that is my motto, my theme for the next 60 days before I will fly to Cape Town. In these last days of this year we all think back of what 2007 brough to us, what we can learn for the future and where we are thankful. Let's look for the things we can be thankful for. Here is my list:

-thankful for my parents and the relationship with them -thankful for my friends, here in Germany, in the States, in France, everywhere -thankful for a place to stay, for health, for food, for love -thankful for God in my life and for HIS hope and HIS life -thankful for knowing my calling and knowing where I am headed

........ what are YOU thankful for at the end of 2007???

God bless us, each and every one!

Winter walk-coold

come with me on a littl' walk ....it is cold here in Germany :) Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year 2008

Merry Christmas 2007

My parents and I wish you all Merry CHristmas 2007! Blessings to you!! All is good and all in God's hands! Sunshine :=)

Germany for 68 more days - decision made

So after lots of ups and downs, I now can say that I wills tay in Germany for another 68 days. After talks with both my sending church and South Africa, I decided to postpone the flight to Cape Town until the end of February 2008. Considering the siuation this seems to be wise. I will receive all the documents soon and then I am able to apply for the visa. This gives me more time at the consulate. Merry Christmas to you all! I want to share something one of my first pastors once said: Our heart is the manger Jesus puts himself in and where He is born into this world. It is there where He grows in us! May this Christmas be a blessed one for all of us!

Welcome to my blog

This is a welcome note from me to you in this Christmas season. Enjoy!

34 days, no visa yet and still 752 $ under my budget goal!!!

Dear friends, I am writing this in the week where I thought I would have been able to apply for the visa at the lastest :( I still need 752 $ to be donated and commited to the mission of healing and restoration which God called me to in Cape Town. In all this, I am amazed at How God works. I am amazed that I got down from 1600 $ to 752 $ with the help of friends and supporters in the US as well as here in Germany. I know how important it is to have supporters from my home country and the more I am here, the more I see God moving here. This week is the 2nd advent here in Germany. This means that we just lit the second candle out of four. The 4 sundays before Christmas, we have a countdown with candles so to speak :) This is part of the German way and tradition in this Christmas season. In and with this note, I ask you humbly to keep on praying for me. This time is not easy emotionally as the day of my flight is coming closer fast.

-Please pray for protection and wisdom and times where I can let God cover and surround me to just be with HIM! -Please pray and ask God if you would be able to support me with 20 Dollars per month for one year (from Jan. to Dec. 2008 =this would be an investment of 240 $ next year all in all) and please pray that God touches people who hear HIM direct them to supporting me in this way! -Please pray for favor at the consulat -Please pray for good communication -Please pray for HIS peace to reign in me in this stormy season

My parents are doing fine, well my dad is headed towards a big operation (he will get a new artificial hip) and therefore he is in pain a lot. The operation is in january. My mom is doing ok, still overworked but ok. I am happy to see her sing at church in her choir this sunday and the sunday after that, her and my dad will come and join me at my church. WOW! 12 times 20 = 240 12 times 25 = 300 12 times 30 =360 If people can commit to support me at least for the next year monthly with either 20, or 25 or 30 $, it would help me and bless others and hopefully I would be able to apply for the visa soon! Thank you for your prayers and thank you for providing me with things to pray for you as well. May God bless and guide you this week, Kerstin

Jesus Painting

check out this video, so awesome what we can do with our art and creative gifts...

less than 900 $

As of today, my new balance is this: I need less than 900 Dollars for the first time to be able to get a document that I need for the visa! HALLELUUUUUUHJA!!!!!

Support letter december NO 1

Dear friends, this is the first newsletter in the holiday season, in the season of advent. Here in Germany we celebrate this season this way: every sunday we light a candle , or two or three or four depending which advent it is. Yesterday we lit 1 candle because it was the first advent! Christmas markets are open now and I love it. The atmosphere of Christmas markets is wonderful. There are a lot of different craft-booths and food to eat and glowwine and hot orang juice to drink. Things have changed: First of all: I am 30 now and I love it!!! I had a wonderful birthday..I would say the best in many years. God gave me such an inner joy and I loved to be with my parents. THey surprised me with my cousin who came to join us at our family dinner. The night after my birthday I had a great party and over 20 of my friends came and we had a good good time. I was so excited!!! Christmas is coming closer, I will see my mom sing in her choir pretty soon and her and my dad will join me for a service in my church. I am excited about that. Keep on praying for those two special people in my life! The time is drawing closer. Soon it will be less than 40 days until I will fly out to Cape Town. I know that it is the right time and we will see how God will move in all the areas. I am 950 Dollars under my budget goal. This means that I still need to raise 950 dollars per month so that I reach my monthly budget. Only then I will be able to get a document that will authorize me to apply for the visa. Time is ticking and I am praying and in allt his I trust the Lord. AT this moment, I'd like to pause and thank all of you for your prayers for me and for your continuous support in areas like finances and prayer and letters and packages...Thank you so very much, my heart is very grateful and blessed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last weekend I connected with an important woman in restoration type minsitries. Her name is Maria Prean (She is from Austria, went to the States and is now living in Uganda/ Africa) and I have listened to her teachings for over 5 years now. Early in August I heard God tell me to connect with her. It seemed impossible to me until I heard that she would come to Frankfurt and then I found out that one couple in my church know her personally. They connected me with her. I do not know where this will lead but I obeyed the voice of the Lord and we will see. Funny stories... Prayer corner: Friends, I LOVE to receive your emails telling me what to pray for you, do not stop, ok? It is good for me how I can specifically pray for you!! This is how you can pray for me in this holiday season: -please pray for protection emotionally and spiritually -please pray for my parents to get to know JESUS -please pray for wisdom and guidance in all my relationships here in Frankfurt -please pray for a good team work with he Holy Spirit -please pray for favor at the consulate and with all my fundraising as well -please pray for the funds to come in and people's hearts to be touched to give at least 20 Dollars permonth (for one year : Jan. 2008 - Dec. 2008) Now let ME give you a hug and wish you a great first week in december!! with all my love, in HIS grip, Kerstin P.S. visit my blog for some updates on a regular basis: http://freiheitwelcometomyworld.blogspot.com

JUST KERSTIN, BUT KERSTIN!

HI, my name is Kerstin Berthold. I love my name. It means: Belonging to CHRIST! My name is the program of my life! I am glad to be Kerstin and not anyone else! In the past 2 weeks, God has renewed my mind and soul and I feel He gave me new and fresh water to drink. I realize how much I felt overwhelmed with the idea of being a missioanry sent to a different nation. Now, not only my mind, but my heart udnerstands what it means to be called, sent and loved in all the processes. God called me, Kerstin, with all my good and all my bad traits, feelings, thoughts. I am glad that I am not a superwoman...just Kerstin. God has called me to bind up broken hearted, to point to HIM and talk about HIM, to be a living testimony of HIS love, hope and strength on this earth. I am ready! I am ready to be Kerstin, be renewed on an ongoing basis ........

My identity in CHRIST

This was the title of what I spoke about last wednesday and it was exactly that topic that God chose to reveal to me in a deeper way. I am humbled and thankful. I am so thankful that God has not only made me wiser but stronger in HIM over the past couple of days!! It all started with my teaching. I felt extremely unworthy to preach about that topic for I felt not like a princess or a child of Go dor an overcomer in CHrist at all. I fought with tons of stupid lies that seemed bigger than they actually are. The day after my teaching I actually fell into a depression and I was physically down as well. I knew that I believed lies instead of God's truth at that point, but I only knew it with my mind. God reminded me of what He had shown me about the fact that I should just come to him with what I have and with HIS touch only it would turn into something. A night later I went to a seminar and was prayed over and that was when I realized somethign extremely important: I had tried to find my identity in my role as a long term missionary instead of in Jesus. I had tried to figure out to do everything right, to read a lot to learn a lot and to do all that is required of a missionary like me. I stopped seeing myself in CHrist first. As I said in my last blog entry, I am not a superwoman! I have never been a missionary and I have never done what I will soon be doing. I simply have no clue and only with the touch of Jesus something can happen here...only with HIS touch. Funny how God let me teach about it to start the process of introspection and now I see, now I understand and I am glad that He has shown me ....here and now. Here, Jesus, this is all I have, I give you Kerstin, ALL OF HER, and with your touch we will touch the world to do the impossible!!! Kerstin, a child of God, HIS masterpiece

Jesus: here is what I have, only with your help we can move things!!

Yesterday, as I was walking to catch my train my mind went back to this last week. Jesus wa so gracious to me. He stooped down and caught my soul and changed my heart and my inner man. I suddenly had to think of the situation when Jesus was about to fee the multitudes. He had just taught and talked to the diciples and it was later i hte day. Jesus asked his disciples to go and get something to eat. I could easily see myself as one of those disciples...I felt suddenly right in the middel fo the story: Did Jesus just tell us to find something to eat for all these people here? I looked at this multitude...men, women and children.........how on earth.... oh well all of us split up and tried to buy as much food as üissble with the little money we had. After a while we got 5 pieces of fish and 3 loaves of bread. I felt so bad. This is not enough! We need to find more! We need to. In my hastiness I ran around trying to find more. ALL THIS HAPPENED IN MY THOUGHTS WHILE WALKINT TO CATCH THE TRAIN TO FRANKFURT DOWNTOWN!!! Suddenly I realized something. I would have run around to get more on my own for hours. HOWEVER, JEsus wanted me to come back with what I have and say to HIM: Jesus this is all I have, only with your help we can do the unbelievable! Now I transfered that to my situation:

Jesus does nto want for me to be the perfect Missioanry who understand everything and is superwise. He knows me, He knows what I can do and what I cannot do and still HE chose me. HE wants me to come to HIm and say: Jesus, here I am, it is only me, Kerstin, not superwoman, only with your help I can be the Missioanry, only with your help I we can do unbelievable!

wow, what a revelation!!!!

Tidbits about Germany....ready set gooooo

1. Living in Germany permits me to drive to my church service 160 km per hour = 99,5 miles per hour 2. The German social 'bubble' is much smaller than the American one 3. The Germans have the best GELATO outside of Italy because our first immigrant workers came from Italy. A lot of Italians still live here in germany with their families! Molto bene!! 4. Germany is famous for fantastic bread and Broetchen!!! 5. When Americans say: "Hi, how are you?"..they only mean HI. When Germans ask you: "How are you?", they await a detailed answer (at least a lot of them) 6. We have the same color changes in the fall as in the States: beautiful sun yello and fire red..... 7. Driving on German streets is so much different for there is much less space...; the definition of 'street' seems to be different (grin).

to be continued!!!

God's encouragement! Thank you dear LORD

Tonight I was at a Youth group and we had worship. I helped out. After the 3rd song, my heart ached more and more for God to touch me and fill me. I have been feeling so unworthy and filthy, so bad during the past days. I felt unworhty of my calling and could not udnerstand why God had chosen me. After that 3rd song God gave me a picture:

I could see with my inner eye that God poured out clear fresh water into my open hands. He said: "Wash yousrelf!" I washed my face and felt the refreshment. At the same time I could see God's approval of me in whatever circumstance.

THANK YOU DEAR LORD!! THANK YOU THAT YOU ALONE CAN MAKE ME WORTHY!!!!

learning HIS ways.....

Learning HIS ways is not easy but it is rewarding in the end. Learning HIS ways is challenging to the highest degree. Learning HIS ways is a priviledge for the children of God. Learning HIS ways is painful but it seems that I only learn through a certain amount of pain. My head is turning from right to left for I do not understand this. I do not want to go through pain. Yet, I seem to choose so every once in a while. Learning HIS ways is a journey, a process and I am yet to learn how to receive this simple truth...to accept it and to walk with it!! The other day I went swimming. I love swimming but have not swum for over 3 years. This week I went to swim and dive and do some sport. Everything I do has a certain spiritual meaning to me and a lot of times God talks to me while I am doing this or that. Well, swimming has a special spiritual meaning for me: It is cleansing, refreshing and calming in a way. The most calming thing is when I dive and am under water for a while..........then........I look around.....I do not hear anything ....but I see the light that breaks itself and penetrates the water....all is silent......all is like in slow motion. It is there and then my soul finds rest from the business of the day and it is there that I feel I can take on the next thing God wants to teach me...it is there that I can sense HIS hope in me. It is weird that Paul is right when He says that God's strength is made perfect in our weakness.......it is so weird for I want to be strong and yet I observe Jesus how HE uses me in my complete and sheer weakness, in my deepest moments. I am glad that my JEsus loves me and knows me and I give HIM my heart.

JESUS, humbled I come to you and say: HERE I AM USE ME, use me as I am, frail and a sinner. USE me to glorify you Lord Jesus! Amen

A hole in a leaf

I have seen this so many times now and I want to share with you what God showed me a few years ago. I was reminded of that very fact several times in the past few fall days ... I am talking about special leaves...I love leaves and anyone who knows my testimony and how I became a Christian knows that even more:) These special leaves have holes...they are not like normal leaves, they seem to be done with life so to speak. Well, one day a few years ago...3 years ago to be exact, I was on a walk with Jesus. I felt really down and empty and I told Jesus all I my feelings. As I was walking along a beautiful path in the forest, I saw such a leaf. I tought: oh that leaf is not good anymore. BUT then I looked closer and saw a tiny spider web inside: all of a sudden God spoke to me:

Look, Kerstin, this leaf seems to be done with life and without a purpose but I gave it a new purpose. This whole is there to give this spider some space to create a beautiful webt. YOu have a purpose although you feel down and empty, ...but I gave you a purpose just as I gave this leaf a purpose.

WOW!!! So now ..... within the past few days, I saw those kind of leaves again...leaves with a hole inside and I was reminded of that spiderweb. God has a plan , God has a purpose and I needed this reminder in this season of my life so much......thank YOU dear heavenly Father!! YOu are the best!!!

FREIHEIT! FREEDOM!!

I thought I write a little and proclaim FREEDOM in my life. I will attach a picture to this post that totally shows what my heart is longing for. Freedom from chains of performance that seem to bind me. At least I am fighting that a lot. I will concentrate on FREIHEIT right now: that day I was on a walk with my mom and I showed her where I would walk and spend time outside during the week. She loved it. Then we passed by a little playground and I saw the slide, the red slide. I gave my camera to my mom , told her to take a picture of me and then I ran up there to slide down and scream like a little girl. I did this 3 times and had such fun. My mom was laughing out loud and we both had fun. I need this freedom again. I feel I seem to have lost it somehwere on the way. FREIHEIT

OH Lord, cover me and free me from that performance-driven crap inside my head. Help me to BE with you and help me to receive from you, help me to be mroe Kerstin Sunshine who has been set free 7 years and 9 months ago...and a few days. Lord I need you for I want to do waht you ask me to. My heart is for you Jesus, Your Princess Bride Kerstin

1600 $ per month.....can you think about 20 $ per month?

This is a short blog entry about my fundraising situation. First of all I am so thankful for all of you who pray for me these days and who pray for the ministry God has for me!!!!!!! On a side note, I am still believing for a sum of 1600 $ to come in every month. That amount is the minimum amount which I need to show the consulate that it is coming in.

So I am asking you now to consider prayerfully if you can think about committing to give 20$ or 25$ or 39$ a month to East HIll Church to the account: Long Term Missions South Africa to support my ministry there.

I already have 300$ worth of monthly support and am believing now for 1300$ more, which means 65 people who can commit for 20$ per month, or 43 people comitting 30$ per month. Please pray and ask God if HE leads you to support me in this way for a year. I know that this is the Lord's ministry anyway. I thank you for praying about it. I thank you for your prayers in all this. YOu find all the donation information on the left side of this blog. Questions? let me know and email me: newborntigger@yahoo.com sincerely, Kerstin

Movie RATATOUILLE for 3 people only 3 EURO

It all began at 5pm when my parents and I embarked on our journey to the near movie theatre to see RATATOUILLE the DIsney movie with the little rat that can cook. As we arrived we saw all those people wanting to have tickets. Oh my...... My dad and my mom knew one of the employees and started talking with him. All of a sudden he waved us through the crowd and gave us 3 tickets..the last ones for that show....we did not have to pay one cent!!!! WOW, my dad was proud and I congratulated him and thanked God or an unforgettable evening with my parents. So we got to see that beautiful movie without paying at all. 3 Euro was our parking ticket..taht is all. NOw we are back at home and my parents loved the movie and I was blessed to watch God bless us!!! Thank you Jesus!!!!

Tag der Deutschen Einheit: The day of unity in Germany

Hello! TOday is a great day for Germany. It is our own national holiday. We celebrate the fall of the wall and a united Germany, east and west, west and east. Unity is so important. Paul already talked about it in the bible. Unity in the body of Christ, unity and forgiveness. Unity is so important and I can sense it in my own life. I am celebrating my coutnry today and that God is present in this country, that God is doing some mighty work here! I am proud to be a German, proud for all that God has given to us Germnans. I wish for all of us Germans that we can be proud and not fearful of that fact that being proud could lead to teh pride of destruction and dictatorship again. I remember where I was when I watched tv and saw the news about the fall of hte wall. Then, it was surreal and I was not that old. I did not really get it. But later, I was happy. It is not easy, it was not easy but as our pastor said this last sunday: Unity always comes with a prize. I want unity, unity in my relationships, unity in the churches, unity in families. Only Jesus can help me achieve this wish of my heart. Only He can. But with HIm there comes division as well...read on...don't get me wrong: Jesus tells his disciples in Luke 12 that He comes with a holy fire and that pretty much people either believe in HIm or hate HIM. This is what I mean with division. Jesus comes with the sword of the Spirit which divides clearly. YOu can see that in so many ways: veryone can talk about God these days...A GOD..but as soon as I talk about Jesus, people divide into 2 groups ...maybe 3: one says: Yes Jesus is my Savior, the other one says: I do not believe in Jesus and that is all humbug and the third does not care at all: everyone will be blessed with whatever they believe. I am one of the 1st group I mentioned and today I pray that Jesus blesses my country: Germany:

Dear Lord, I ams o thankful that I am a German and I am thankful to know you, I pray for this country to hear you and see you, I pray fogive us our sins and let us forgive others who sinned against us. I pray help us to receive your goodness and help us not to criticize but believe in YOU I pray bless us and hold us, yoru German Bride Kerstin

Wuerdig das Lamm das geopfter ist wuerdig das Lamm zu nehmen wuerdig das Lamm das geopfert ist, wuerdig das Lamm zu nhemen Kraft und Reichtum, Weisheit und Staeke Ehre und Ruhm und LObpreis (that is a wonderful German Hymn to praise Jesus the lamb of God,taken out of Revelation 4 and 5)

A change, a relief and a challenge!

So here I am and I have news...big news..news that totally confirmed my sense but news that I still need to process as well. I am going to stay for 2 more months in Germany. I will fly out in the second week of january to go to the country and city God has calle dme to : South Afrcia / Cape Town. I had been sensing such a peace over the fact that God will do what He needs to do and if it took longer for me to go to Aouth Africa then God is Soveriena dn He has plans I do not know of. Well last night I talked with the pastor from Cape Town and throughout our conversation it got clearere and clearer that we would not be able to get all the documents for the 4th of November which is in one month and 2 days. The month of december is a low month there..epopel are on vacation..it is like our month of july. Hence, there is not a lotof activity in the church. This means taht I could use that time better to stay here and raise support and maybe work if that is the case. We talked about where I could stay and about how things are going. I felt such a peace about the whole january idea that we both decided to stay with that plan. I have time to organize my support better, to werite letters and speak and be with my family over Christmas. I also sense that the latter is a very important thing in my recent relationhip with them. All in all this is the best and I trust God because He has the perfect timing! I do not want to rush, I want to trust HIM and risk to live a life worth living!!!!! Emotionally, I am processing this big change right now. I woke up last night and was awake for an hour trying to grasp the whole thing. Good that Jesus has all in HIS hands. I need that. I feel like that little lamb very close to Jesus' heart. Glory be to God in the Highest

Proud to be a German!!! Congratulations Ladies!!!

Yesterday was a big day in our history. OUr German golden ladies won the world cup in soccer. They were phenominal and scored 2 goals against Brazil in the final in China. Tonight, all of Frankfurt was on its feet to welcome our team, or golden team back at the Roemer Berg at the heart of Frankfurt! Congratuilations ladies! Your play is always fair and of excellent quality!!! I am proud to be a German

A "Lybelle" on the right foundation

LOOK AT THE TITLE OF THIS NEW POST OF MINE. 'LYBELLE' IS THE GERMAN WORD FOR DRAGONFLY AND I LOVE THIS WORD. I GOT THE WORD A FEW MONTHS AGO TAHT GOD SEE ME AS A LYBELLE. I AM SHINING AND GOD'S GRACE AND LOVE IS REFLECTED THROUGH MY WINGS. IN ONE OF THE GROUPS THAT I WAS A TEACHER IN TRAINING IN THE STATES, MY GROUP GAVE ME THIS 'LYBELLE' AS A GIFT BEFORE I LEFT. I KNOW THAT GOD IS SPEAKING TO ME THROUGHT HIS PICTURE. LAST WEEK I SPOKE TO A SMALL GROUP OF YOUNG LADIES AND I BROUGTH MY 'LYBELL' WITH ME TO DEMOSNTRATE SOMETHING. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TEACHING I ASKED IF I COULD BORROW A LADY'S BIBLE (THANK YOU BETTINA) AND PUT THE 'LYBELLE' DIRECTLY ON TOP OF THE BIBLE. WHAT DOES THIS SAY? TO ME IT SAYS THAT I NEED THE FOUNDATION OF HIS WORD, THE FOUNDATION OF THE TRUTH. I AM SUCH A 'LYBELLE' IN THE LORD'S SIGHT AND I NEED TO POSTION MYSELF ON HIS WORD. Today was an itnersting and frustrating day. I was able to sell more things on ebay and had to organize the selling part and packing part of things. After that I had a really good meeting with a woman in need of healing and restoration. We had a good talk and I sensed that that was again one the divine appointmetns God had sent me to go to and I was glad that I listened. As I came back I called to South Africa. I was totally sure that the time difference from Frankfurt to Cape Town was one hour. As I called, I learned that that was not true. It is the same time. I was frustrated becasue it has been several times like this that I was not able to get through tp SOuth Africa. I let it go and know God is sovereign. oh my oh my... MY LIFE IS IN YOU LORD MY STRENGTH IS INN YOU LORD MY ALL IS IN YOU TAKE OVER LORD TAKE OVER I DO NOT WANT TO DRIVE MY CAR ANYMORE LEAD ME, TAKE CONTROL WHERE I TRIED TO TAKE IT GO AHEAD JESUS AND USE ME, LEAD ME, FILL ME, AND HEAL ME!!!!!!!!

Flea market the IIIrd and sick

So the third time at theflea market was amazing again. The weather forecast had said it would rain and all. I did not rain and I know that God helped there a bit. It was not too cold and even sunny. I stood there for 7 hours and had wodnerful encounters again. I learnd how to say "how are you" in Russian, I met another great neighboor with whome I ha dmeaningful conversations, I sang worship songs and blessed people. Alle in all it was great. Then I was able to see dear friends of mine from Oregon. They were on their tour through Europe and came and saw me in Frankfurt for some hours. What a treat! Thank you Jill, Tim and Hannah!! Yet, I am fighting exhasution and sickness, have been in bed all day and my muscles ache. So tha tis why you get a sort blog entry and some picks and I will go back to bed! Blessings to you all!!

for my blog-thoughts to my bible reading

lets read those psalms againa nd again, how rich they are

A day as a bride....

Wow, I am overwhelmed. I am so thankful and so .....I guess the word is thankful. God is good. He is so merciful and fullof love that He helped me feel and see that He is with me. I borrowed a coat from my friend Ines today cuz I forgot one at home. I am staying with her and her husband for a few days here in Frankfurt. It is soooo refrehshing, so wonderful. I have absolute delightful talks with them and feel sooo blessed and the wonderful thing is: They feel blessed as well!!! We went for a walk today- to a beautiful park close to the big house they both are living in (they liev on the 13th floor). The sun was shining today and it could not have been more perfect. We strolled by a typical European site: the street cafes and the atmosphere .....it was extraodinary!! After that I realized that it is today that goods are being sold to support my minsitry ...they are being sold at a Fall Event. I am praying for people to be blessed as they bless me. I had 2 hours of free time tonight before I would go to an African restaurant with my friends and other friends for a birthday party. I walked around a pretty area in Frankfurt, praying for my friends and thanking my Jesus for this day....AS I realized that I was still wearing the white coat that Ines gave me for today. I suddenly felt like a bride, Jesus was there hugging me and my heart was warm and thankful. All my needs HE supplies, He is with me, for me not against me. I feel like in a honeymoon with Jesus- if that sounds weird...that is your problem :) SO I go to bed...feeling like a bride, knowing that God fills me and cares for me and being proud of my Jesus!!! Kerstin Sunshine

Kerstin at the flee market PART II :)

I am so tired but happy, not because of any money but because my God was so personal and lovng to me today that I am touched beyond words. I got up at 5am in the morning to prepare for my second adventure at the flee market. I had put all stuff in the car last night and now the next chapter could begin: I arrived at 6:15am at my place, payed the little fee and set up all my stuff. One the way to the market I committed this work to the Lord: Let people be blessed and let me not look at the money but at the hearts of the people that would come- this was my prayer after reading Psalm 37 this morning. I got rid of more than half of my stuff for not a lot of money. However, I samg a lot of songs, hummed and was happy for I saw how it blessed the people that came by. I had an awesome neighbor and we got along really well, singing, dancing and chatting about this or that. I was blessed and she said that she was blessed as well. Then an older woman from the Jehova's wittness appeared, bought my coffee machine and wanted to sell or give me those magazines...THE WATCHTOWER . I politely said NO and still we had a nice chat. I could bless a woman whose name is Anna. She has a little Baby and two odler sons. her husnand died with 36 years and now she is alone. SHe bought htings and aksed if I could drive to her appartment after the market ot bring them to her. I said yes. After the market I could not remmenber where that street was and my cell phone was close to die , so I could not ask her ( she had given me her number). As I asked the Lord driving in the car, I looked at the next street sign and it was exactly the street I needed to go- I just felt a soft hug from the Lord it was marvellous. As I came into Anna's appartment, I was blessed with her smile and we talked over a coffee and I was able to see and hug her little baby girl- she gave me a biiiig baby smile and my heart melted. I was touched by that woman's life and I am asking God now to reveal to me if I can bless that woman and if then how. God also encouraged me in me going to South Africa in HIs own way which is indiscribable. All in all I am tired now but happy- I think i made 40 Dollars but in the unseen world I gained so much and could bless so much, wha a wonderful experience! Thank you my dear God, thank you for your sweetness! I love you!!!!!! P.S. ON THAT ONE PICTURE I AM WEARING THE RED BEANIE ABOUT WHICH I BLOGGED A FEW MONTHS AGO- LOOK AT THIS BLOG POST CALLED ; THE RED BEANIE

Coming back from a good walk and talk with BIG J

I have just come back from a long walk with Jesus. It is pretty amazing how wonderful HE is. It is pretty amazing how ALIVE HE is and I am absoluty in love with God.I am going through some dissappointments with myself, with other people and through some pain that is envolved in that. It is so good to talk with Jesus about it. He understands. Last week when I was with my friends and my little Godson, God woke me up one night. I woke up at 3:30 am and NO I had not eaten any pizza that night... (lol) and I was awake. I was so awake that it scared me (grin) After half an hour of trying to fall back to sleep I gave in and was reminded of little Samuel who was woken up by God. Samuel finally got it and answered: Here I am my Lord, what do want to tel me? So I asked the same. No answer...but I was more awake than before. Then I thought I could start to pray for things and asked God to show me the needs and to show me my heart. God led me to pray for my parents, to pray for the family I stayed at and He gave me a promise for that family. He asked me to bless people who hurt me and dissappointed me and He asked me to forgive myself. I got more and more excited and the thought of going back to sleep was way back in my mind. After 2 hours I started to get tired and fell asleep at about 5:30am thinking: Oh my oh my, I will be so exhausted when little FAlk comes to my bed in the morning to wake me up to play with him at 7am.............but surprisingly I was not exhausted. Surprisingly, I was up even before and ready for the day when the little cutie came to welcome me into the new day! Last week God spoke to me about patience and having children. See, I really love children, I love babies. They always love to be held by me. Yet, I experienced a very exhausting life as a mother last week. Little Falk stopped sleeping during noon...no nap for mom and my friend Sandra was so exhausted ;( It was easier for me than for her since this was just one week out of my life whereas THIS WAS her life. I thought a lot about my wish to have my own children one day. Good that all this is in God's hands but I was not the most patient auntie last week sometimes. I got reminded of all that after reading a friend's blog post (Christine). Interesting how God speaks to us. Here are some words out of a song, an old song sung by Steven Curtis Chapman:

I can hear it in the baby's cry In a mother's lullaby Everytime the morning sky Begins to glow I can feel it pounding deep inside It's keeping faith alive And i will not let it die The heartbeat of hope I am learning I'm learning as I go Just how thankful hope can be The ache of yearning Can never let you go It has become a part of me But pure are the longings Holding on and holding out I'll keep holding to the one thing I know I can not live without

So I hold on to Jesus, I hold on because He is my life, HE IS my justice, He is my patience and HE is my wisdom, He is my all in all HE IS!!!!He is who HE is (Exodus 3:14) He is all that in me that I can never fully achieve. I want to achieve and achieve and operate in the spirit of religiosity, I am not better than any pharisee and I expect so much of me that my own expectations want to tangle me, BUT I DO NOT NEED THAT. I AM A CHILD OF GOD and in HIS NAME is my healing and my salvation, my righteousness and my justice!

At my Godchild's home

I am back from one week of refreshment, one week of learning, one week of receiving and giving, one week of love and one week of joy and relaxing. I spent the last week in the countryside nealry 2 hours away from Franfurt at my Godchild's home. His name is Falk, I was there at his dedication and I saw him every year in the summer. He is 2 and a half years old and my delight. I spent the time with his mom who has become like a big sister to me. Sandra and her family lived underneath my appartment when I lived in Frankfurt 4 years ago. We always drank cappuccinos together and had wonderful talks. Falk's two bigger brothers always loved to draw and paint with me which we did this week...again and again. I will write more about that time and about what God showed me .... here are some pics for now...

I sold goods for 180 $

This is my market experience from this week wednesday. My dad had told me about this market, it is like a garage sale with tons of other people on a little pasture in the middle of our little village. I decided to go there with all I can get together from all my old stuff. It all began tuesday evening when I loaded the car with 10 boxes. It is a red little Golf VW and I was sooo glad to get all of it inside the car. Then I got up the following morning at 5:15AM and went to that place. I arrived at 6:10AM and people were already there. As I undloaded the car the first interested people asked me what I had to sell. It was hillaious....a whole ne expierence for me. After 10 minutes I had already sold my old camera and other stuff. In the first 2 hours I sold a ton. In the end I was there for 5 hours, had some good tea, two good German bread rolls and some snacks. I was blessed with 180 $ and I still have stuff to do this again. I decided to do so. I will go tot he market in two weeks again. I had a fun time.....one of the neighbors came over from time to time and showed me new ringtones on his cell phone which were hillarious. Here are some pictures, enjoy!

My plane to embark with: missionary!!!

Today as I went to be in a sunday service again, I was so encouraged and there is one aspect I want to tell you of. We were talking about how the two disciples walking to Emmaus were surprised and filled with joy when they finally reallized that the person who had interpreted the Scriptures to them was their and our Lord Jesus. Jesus appreared to them being intersted in their concerned faces while they were discussing the past events that had so shocked them. Furthermore, he stayed with them and taught them out of the Scripture without revealing himself yet. Our pastor talked about a very good metaphor this morning. He said:

"Someone once told me to compare out lives as a Christian with a journey on the plane. The plane is the metaphor fo the word, the Sciptures, the truth. We need to be in the word, in us to the plane, although it we need to trust and believe that this plane will get us to where we want to go. Armed with courage and all, we go and sit down in the plan, we go and sit in the word, we are int he word and let the Holy Spirit serve us as we are flying, as we are reading. The Holy Spirit shows us the truth and comforts us. He makes it comfortable in the word, in the plane. We cannot or should not get out of the plane before our destination- that will be painful!!!! We need to hang in there until we arrive at our destination."

We talked about our personal plane right now, where do we need to seek God's revelation through HIS word like the revelation the two disciples from Emmaus got through the word by Jesus. My plane is called : Being a Missionary. It took me a lot of courage and more than half a year for God to free me a bit more of my anxieties, but now I am on the plane, I am ina the word and reading about Paul and how things hapenened, how he had to work and what needed to be done. I am learning but by flight is in turbulences right now and I feel a little sick. I need new joy and hope in areas of this calling and I am thankful that the Holy Spirit is flying with me and He will help me understand He will help me change and look forward.

Dear Lord, let me be a missionary worthy of the calling you gave me, knowing that I cannot do it on my own but through you and in fellowship with teh ones you gave me as brothers and sisters. Help me to understand, help me to learn, help me to grow and help me to keep on walking!

Moldable clay, that is what I want to be

Moldable like clay in the POTTER's hands......... I am being molded and changed into something new....a few moments ago the Potter was doing something with his right finger on me, making a line, a curve, then He took the whole of me and started something new. The clay , which is me, is being bent, being shaped into something new. It hurts, the pain goes deep, it is hard to let go and hard to see now what the POTTER already knows and sees for HE knows His plan and the big picture. Tje only thing that remains for the clay is to trust in HIS/Her creator, to trust that this creator knows HIS job and sees already the finished product: a beautiful vase with a butterfly on it.

Thank you dear God, in your arms I commit my soul and my "clay", mold me, shape me as you like it for YOUR will be done! YOur bride Kerstin, the moldable clay

Missions work and the role of the church

I am learning more and more how big missions work. It is the will of God to go and share the good news and make disciples. The latter is a big part of the mission God has given me. My heart is to disciple in the area of healing, to share resources and to pour out myself to point to God. May His any person's identity in Christ be revealed and the truth will set this person free. The Lord is the healer and perfecter, the healer and restorer of our souls. As a missionary I can give the church a part in this, so that the church can own what God is calling me to as well. This seems then to be for the greater glory because the church opens herself up for more in His kingdom. This can bring new life to the church and can give broader vision and new vision to her members. It is like catching a bug, it is contagious and sooner or later it is not about the missionfield that God has given me, but about the Lord doing HIS work in the missionfield as well as in the church supporting and walking with me. This is an exciting symbiose, an exciting teamwork. I will write a more detailed entry about what God has put on my heart as a missionary for HIM.

It is about HIM , only about HIM.

Communication- what is that?

Communication is such an awesome word. We can fight misunderstanding with this word and this word enables us to have a good relationship. Communication is not one-sided. However, I seem to understand it that way ...unconciously.... I talk with myself and don't ask the person that is affected. Then I assume, I make an ASS out of U and ME and then no communication is needed. I have to learn so much in communication. Every time I fail, I think how hard it is to unwinde all those unconcious actions...so that I can finally ask the day the questions pop up in my head and not days later. Right now I am frustrated but hopeful because I can do all things throuh HIm who gives me strength : JESUS. With HIm I will be able to communicate better, only expect the right things. How interseting it is that we act and react, that we are triggered and wounded and how much do we act out of our woundedness. How much do I put people in a box out of my woundedness and how much do I miscommunicate out of my woundedness.

Lord, forgive me and teach me your way, the way of good communication, the way of good questions, the way of good understanding. I need you Lord and knowing that you exist gives me hope in this frustration. JESUS, REIGN IN ME!

this is one of my fav. songs

I was made to love you my dear God!

Online 24-7???

This pic is from my walk, isn't it beautiful? God is good!! and Muehlheim is really beautiful! No not really but it must seem like it. I am online a lot these days. I check my facebook and my mails regularly. This is good for some things, but bad for others. I was just talking to myself: Man, you seem to be online all the time, huh? Now that I can go online with my laptop and now that I work a lot at ohome, it is quite convenient to check my mail, to chat with friends or to update my blog. Last night I organized all the pictures I already have on my laptop which took me around 2 hours. It was fun to bring order into chaos. I guess that seems to be a theme for me these days: bring order into chaos. I sort out my boxes here and see what I can sell and whatI can throw away or give away. It is a work that is important but not really recocnized. It is hard right now- I am feeling totally in culture shock these days. And it does not help that it is raining cats and dogs here...welll, you could say: just like in Oregon! yup a bit like that. I am a sunhine and I love sun, I lvoe the sunlight and how the sun/SON shines light into darkness. Oh well, just wanted to let you know that I am online A LOT! (not 24-7!!!!) Soon, I will post another video..so be looking for something... drop me a comment or a mail see you soon,Kerstin

This is where my parents live

This is where my parents live and where I am to find these days. It is the second next to the top..... ...on that balcony I sit a lot to eat or to read.